It's March....

Do you know where your resolutions are? I only made one resolution this year. It's easier to keep just one. I promised myself that I wouldn't step on the scale all year. I did hit the scale at the doctor's but I turned around because I just didn't want to see. My weight has only fluctuated about 5lbs in either direction in the past 4 years. I don't know why I beat myself up about it. I haven't bought any new clothes in a different size, all of my old clothes fit me. Is it because I am tall? All of the models are tall and skinny and I feel like I could look like that, except I really enjoy eating, I mean really enjoy eating. But I wonder if I started losing weight, would I ever be happy? Also, I like to think those extra few pounds are kind of a bank account against the sort of sickness I usually get.
I was 30lbs heavier right before I got pregnant with Buttercup. I think I needed to be heavier then. I lost 20lbs in my third month of pregnancy with her, I shudder to think how I would've looked had I been my current weight. I permanently lost 5lbs after being sick with her, she made my butt smaller, I think my body ate those fat cells. Then with Fiona, I had a better doctor and I only lost 10lbs in a month with her. But she got rid of my saddlebags. I think she also redistributed onto the upper part of my stomach. But after I had the girls, my body knew I wasn't going to be able to have any more kids and got rid of the extra 20lbs I was then carrying around. (Oh, just so you don't freak out, I gained 21lbs with Buttercup and a respectable 26lbs with Fiona...but she turned out to be 10lbs 7oz, so I don't know how respectable that was) When Fiona was first in the hospital, I lost 5lbs in two weeks, without working out, simply because food tasted like sawdust.
As I grew up, I listened to my mom talk about food. If she was good that day, she didn't have anything bad to eat. She later told me when she was younger, she thought she was a total cow when she was 5'6" and 120lbs. I told her she was probably the perfect woman. I don't talk like that in front of my girls. I work out, I tell them, so I can keep up with them, because I like the way it makes me feel. Which is true.
How do you tell yourself your weight is okay? Is it okay? Are you healthy? By healthy, I mean either way. Being too skinny isn't healthy either. As a tall Caucasian woman, who doesn't like a lot of milk, I am setting myself up for osteoporosis later on in life. I do try to do a lot of weight lifting and weight bearing exercises. I also laugh at the girls on talk shows who say they have a J. Lo booty, so they aren't fat....I am sure in real life J. Lo's booty isn't fat, it's just a welcome change from the thin as board girls. How do I set my girls up for liking their bodies? Buttercup is amazingly shaped, like me when I was younger. She has a super small waist and long legs and her dad's metabolism. Fiona's body has suffered through the steroid pulses and chemo, but her little body has amazed me with it's resilience. But she is thoroughly muscular and might give those Olympic sprinters a run for their money. I hope that I will be able to help them appreciate their bodies as they get old and help me appreciate my own.