I Have a Problem

Um..My name is LCM and I am addicted to books. There, I said it out loud. I can read fast, I mean really fast. I don't know if this helps or hurts me. Today I read Lady Killer by Lisa Scottoline, and then also The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. I also finished the latest by Kristin Hannah, not very memorable. She swiped obvious story lines from Bob Woodruff and his brain injury for one thing. I read his book too, I really enjoyed it. I went to the library to pick up some holds, even though I still had several books, unread, at home. I feel an obligation to quickly read the hot books that come in order to quickly pass them on, in the hopes that someone will do the same for me.
Now, my family is fed, the house is relatively clean, hubby has clean, ironed clothes to wear to work, I usually work out, so this doesn't qualify as a real addiction, right? This is something I need to do in order to keep in me sane. But, if I could tape a book to my leg, in order to absorb the story by osmosis, I would, no matter how goofy looking I might be.
I love to read all sorts of books. In 2004 I read more than 200 books on WWII, started by Anita Shreve's Resistance and I so lucked out that it was the 50th anniversary of the landing at Normandy which allowed me to indulge my need to know. The next year, I entered a contest that an Oregonian columnist does every year, trying to find out the most pages someone reads in a year. I read over 100,000 pages! And yet, I still manage to find books I haven't read yet.
Here at the Harris Public Library, you are only allowed to request 15 books at a time, so I have had to resort to forcing Hubby to get a library card, which he will never use, in order to use his 15 slots of reservations. I am pretty sure he won't be embarrassed by the fact I requested Celebutantes under his name.
I spread the love around. I enjoy some good Chick Lit, I call it cotton candy for the brain. Then I also love a good memoir, no matter what it's about. I love the military guys from WWII or Vietnam, women living in repressed societies, whatever. I also enjoy serious novels or the classics.
But I read the books to quickly get in the story before I am off to a new one. If I don't read through the pile I have before I go get more from the library, then sometimes I don't get through the ones who were left behind. Of course, sometimes I get them and they aren't as interesting as they sounded on Barnes and Noble.com .
How nice to get this off my chest. Send some recommendations my way, if you want to feed the addiction. With any luck I won't have read it. Of course I might have to open a card in Buttercup's name in order to request more! (Oh I spend a lot of time standing in line, virtually speaking, because I request books before they come out).

A Weight Off

When Fiona was diagnosed in August of 2006, she went through a battery of tests. They weren't able to sedate her because the way her tumor lay in her chest, they were worried about the weight of the tumor collapsing her lungs. They did a bone marrow aspirate, which ruled out leukemia, as they didn't find any cancer cells in her bone marrow. They removed a lymph node in her neck because it kind of looked suspicious. They didn't find any cancer cells there, which again was a relief because it was one of the closest nodes to her tumor. So, they came out and said they had to go in and remove a bit of her actual tumor. For this, they did have to put her under. Hubby and I spent a nervous 2 hours waiting for them to come out and tell us if we still had a little girl. After everything was said and done, they found the tumor in her chest was T-cells enlarging her thymus gland. They took her in for a cat scan later and found a couple of dots on her kidneys. They never verified it was cancer, but she was stage-3 according to everything I found online. They are reluctant to stage blood cancers, unless it is found in the cerebro spinal fluid (CNS), at which point it's the worst and labeled stage 4. This still isn't an automatic death sentence, it just(!) means you get radiation to your head. The blood cancers like to hide in the CNS and that's the reason she got all of those lumbar punctures, to put chemotherapy in her CNS.
Last month we went to Texas Children's and the doctor said she wanted to get a CAT scan with contrast to check everything out and make sure things are going to plan. She gets a blood test every month, but it has never shown up in her blood and by the time it did, things would be catastrophic. Friday, we showed up very early and went to the Radiology department where Fiona got a scan in one of the coolest rooms I have ever seen (trust me, I have seen more than my fair share of radiology rooms) They had a projector that showed a real of butterflies in different pastoral settings moving across the scanner. I stood there praying fervently that everything was going to be okay and I got a feeling of total peace. I have never felt peaceful about her cancer. Which worried me. We got upstairs and met with our doctor and she already had the results. The chemo is working, Fiona is cancer free and we only have 6 months left. I am so grateful.
PS- I am more than happy to answer any questions you guys might have about what she's going through.

Here's to Sleeping Well

So, I complain yesterday about having both of the girls home. It wasn't too bad. We had a few problems, but the girls behaved reasonably well. We were sitting down to a fun dinner of mini hamburgers and curly fries, when Buttercup noticed something. I am so grateful she did and she mentioned something. She told me later she didn't want to say anything. I lost my appetite. Hubby recommended, without letting Fiona know what was going on to call our doc, the one I bragged about recently, but she wasn't on call. Why is it these things happen when things are closed? But I asked for the on call doc to call back. When she didn't, I had them page our Hematology/Oncology fellow on-call. (Try saying that 3 times fast!) He got back to us first and recommended that we come into the clinic in the morning. That wasn't working so much for me and hubby. I wanted to be able to sleep without worrying that Fiona was losing eye cells. So, we made the decision to head down to the local ER. It's amazing what mentioning her cancer status does. They slapped a mask on her and took her right back. It helps that she's so darn cute.
The ER doctor said that what she has is very common and no big deal, except with her lower blood counts, they needed to make sure her blood wasn't too thin.
This is what we saw! Buttercup noticed it because she was sitting next to her at the dinner table. It was almost completely covered by her eyelid, that's why we didn't see it. Her counts were what we expected, this wasn't a spontaneous bleed, which would've been scary. We spent 3 and a half hours at the hospital. Actually that wasn't too bad for an ER visit (especially in a big city). We didn't get home until 11pm. It's pretty tiring, but we didn't have a hard time sleeping. We weren't worried about our Fiona. I think we will probably keep her home for the rest of the week. The ER nurses were talking about all of the sicknesses going through the area. She goes to clinic on Friday anyway. I just don't think my nerves can take her coming down with another problem any time soon. Did I mention she's sniffling again? I would more than take a common cold right now.

(Wo)Men plan...

Everyone's laughing now. Yesterday I was all set to start the week out right. I was going to go to the YMCA and then to Walmart to do my weekly grocery shopping. Fiona wakes me up an hour early insisting she was hot and needed a drink. I stomp around all bitter and later realize she doesn't look too well. Her lips are lacking color and that generally means stomach upset. Which she does, after eating some of her breakfast PB&J and strawberry milk. Into the bowl I am holding. Yum-o! Then she stays home for the rest of the day feeling fine.
Buttercup gets home and we head to the store for a quick run at some dinner ingredients. I look closely at Fiona and notice some goop in her eye. Her lower eyelashes had been stuck to her cheek that morning, but I figured she had cried, while sleeping, due to her stomach upset. I drive directly to her regular pediatrician.
Let me say a few words about her pediatrician. We picked her out due to her proximity to our neighborhood, ie across the street. I really like her, but her office is in an old 70's style strip mall. The exam rooms are archaic, as is the waiting room. I had previously mentioned to Hubby about switching doctors when Fiona no longer needs constant care, thus avoiding the need to immediately establish with another doctor and worry about being seen.
So, I basically squat in the doctor's waiting room, telling her staff that Fiona needs to be seen. With these little immune suppressed kids, who knows what happens when you let any sort of infection set up shop. Worst case, she loses in eye because I wait to take her in. Finally they call us up to pay, which means, hallelujah, she's getting seen now. After a short wait we see the doc. I thank her profusely for seeing us and she says, any time, just let them know who you are and they are to pull her chart. What a great doctor! So we get a prescription and she also says to call back if Buttercup shows up with it.
Cut to this morning, where the first thing I notice about Buttercup is her one red eye and two crusty eyes. Sigh...now I get them both home with me! Yeah. Well, they are both going grocery shopping with me today.

Random Thoughts by LCM

Valentine's Day was not too bad. I got a bluetooth which helps me drive the dangerous highways of Houston and still keep connected. My sisters will love this! I also got a charger for the car. Hubby loved the season passes to the local waterpark. Now we only have to pay for parking any time we want to go. I got Fiona a Fancy Nancy book. I met a friend, from high school, at the hospital, while Fiona was getting a blood transfusion. Her son is being treated for Leukemia. She spent 10 minutes with Fiona and sent her the first book in the series. She said Fiona was a Fancy Nancy. I love the books.
The writer's strike has made it impossible for me to connect with anything but reality tv. I can't follow a plot line any more and I blame shows like Scott Baio's 46 and Pregnant and The Biggest Loser, and (strike me down) My Fair Brady. What can I say, I've been bored. Lost has lost me. I don't know if it's been too long or seems too dramatic, but I can't watch the entire hour. What is up with that? I have been recording the series Wings on TVland for hubby and we have been enjoying it quite a bit. We also have 30 Rock and The Office episodes from months ago that we keep rewatching because we miss them soo much. I've even sunk down to the level of Cashmere Mafia. I think it's mainly because the women are so put together. I would kill for Miranda Otto's hair ( in my color, of course).

Then Princess Fiona has to have a CT scan, preferably before her next exam. Texas Children's is far enough away that I would prefer to have them on the same day, plus not get stuck in rush hour traffic on the way home. Unfortunately we have an appointment for 8am for the CAT scan and 12:30pm for the exam. So, we should get up and leave around 6am and get home around 6pm. Yeah me. It's going to be a very long day.

Speaking of the Biggest Loser, I have been getting bored at the Y, but I found the most interesting machine. The Biggest Loser has had so many competitions regarding escalators, and I found the stair machine that recycles the stairs which is better than the up and down stairmasters. I am not entirely bored with that machine and boy does it work. I don't know if I have lost motivation because I have lost the social aspect of the Y. I don't really know anyone there, but it's not like I am chatty at the Y anyway.

We got a dehumidifier for the house. The humidity should stay below 50% in the house to make sure that mold and dust mites don't grow. We want to have good air in the house for Fiona. It's weird seeing all of the water that comes out of the tank. Right now it's more of a scientific experiment. We won't have to run it in the summer because the air conditioning is supposed to regulate the humidity.

So, these are the musings in my brain right now. I am sure there are more, but I have been distracted. Fiona has gotten out of bed insisting her stomach is killing her, but right now she is attempting to use Hubby's Valentine's gag gift.

More About Me

How long have you and your significant other been together?

We have been together for 12 years this month and have been married for 11 and a half years.


Who eats more? Absolutely Hubby, he should weigh 900lbs.



Who said I love you first?He did.


Who is taller? Me. I keep having to tell him not to slouch!


Who sings better? I do, simply because I am not channeling John Lennon.



Who is smarter? His business acumen is amazing, but he has never beaten me at Trivial Pursuit and I always know where my keys are.



Who does the laundry? Me because when he does, he mostly leaves them in the washer to mold. (See above)



Who does the dishes? Mostly me. What I wouldn't do for dishes help!


Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?I sleep on the left. I joke that he leaves me closest to the door, to be the first to fight off intruders or children (is there a difference?)


Who pays the bills?Me. See the smarter bit


Who mows the lawn?He does. I don't do well with sharp implements.


Who cooks dinner? It's usually me, but the girls enjoy a Daddy dinner more than what I have slaved over. ( daddy dinner? a plethora of finger foods)



Who drives when you are together? I prefer to because I want him to gawk when he's NOT driving. But, he gets carsick when he's not driving.



Who is more stubborn? We are both pretty stubborn, but we are both very controlled.


Who is the first to admit when they're wrong? We are both pretty good about apologizing when necessary.


Whose parents do you see the most? Well, we just moved away and I have posted about my parents and he doesn't have any so...


Who kissed who first? He did. I was a very not forward young lady!


Who proposed? He did, but neither of us really saw it coming.


Who is more sensitive?I am more obviously sensitive, but he hides his well.


Who has more friends?I do, he's not very social.


Who has more siblings? Definitely me. I have 8 and he doesn't have any.


Who wears the pants in the family? Um, I am more overtly bossy, but I always defer to his suggestions.

I am SO Tired...

How tired are you?! Well, I have been splitting my time between Fiona and Hubby. We have found that Fiona has been sleeping better when she has company. We go into the guest room and snuggle. Anyway, the other night I was so dead to the world, I didn't notice that Fiona left the guest room and went into Hubby and asked him where Mama was. I heard about this later, so I questioned and teased Fiona about it. So, did you just not see Mama sleeping there? Nope. Did Daddy tell you to go back and look. Yes. Did you? I even turned on the light. My light or yours? The overhead light. You turned on the overhead light and looked at me? Yup. I am chuckling as I read this. I had no idea that she got out of bed, wandered around the house looking for me and then came back in and turned on the overhead light and stared at me for a while. What a dork.

My splitting time between the two has actually worked out well. Hubby often gets up way too early and prefers not to have to worry about waking me up. I don't have to get up before 7:30am with the girls because the first bell for school doesn't ring until 8:25am and they don't have to be in their seats until 8:40am. In our household we are more focused on sleep than anything else. So, they split custody of me. She can't ask to sleep with me on the days before Dad goes in late or doesn't go in at all. I am just glad it works out for everyone.

I did it, I did it, hurrah!

Yes, I was channeling Dora. I gave my talk and it was great and I didn't have any problems. I think it helped that my contacts weren't making the transition between reading my talk and looking out at people. Thank heavens I could read my talk just fine, I just wasn't seeing the people in the congregation. I even talked over my 10 minute allotted time. Then I got to meet my new girls that I will be teaching every Sunday. My lesson was about learning to be an eternal companion. I focused more on learning to be a good wife. My points? Learn how to communicate properly now. Stop gossiping, especially about family member. It went by really quickly and then I got to come home and chill. Phew. Unfortunately, one of the guys in charge, who asked us to talk, said we did such a good job he should call us again soon! Uh, Nuh-uh! Now I can say no and feel good about it.

Here's my new bedroom!

Well, this isn't it. This is how the old homeowners had their bedroom. I painted our room a pinkish brown color that ended up almost looking purple. Definitely didn't scream a boy lives here also. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, so I just ignored it. Finally Hubby said, I need a real bedroom with real furniture in it, so I went to IKEA. I went on MLK day with the girls. They enjoyed eating the food there, including watching Peter Pan on the flat screen in the kids' area. It during their sale days, plus they took another 10 percent off that day. So, in the check out line, I pushed one of their flat carts and Buttercup and Fiona both had their own carts! And I had to go back for more the next day. Ugh. The girls weren't too happy, either, by the end.
So, I basically stole the idea from their sales floor. I added a few things from other stores and other places in their store. The pictures on the wall are pictures of us that I made into black and whites. The pictures are from family travels and all of us are happy and smiling! That almost never happens.
My kitty is a big fan of the new bedding. He could spend all day there.
This is what we did for the A/V equipment. Plus, I bought a few things to put on the shelves. Checkout the views from the window. I can sit in this beautiful room and check out the lovely pool.
Another thing, I even checked the walls at IKEA for the paint selection and they said it was a Pittsburgh paint. So I found it online, found a nearby retailer and went to see it. They had paint samples there!! I love that. I bought two different samples and picked a color. Then I had to paint over our brand new expensive carpet, YIKES! I have to say, I did a great job. I was pretty sick of the plastic tarp sticking to the bottom of my feet. But the carpet survived and now, like Buttercup, I too have a beautiful room.

It's Not Broken!

My doctor finally called me back and my ankle is not broken. It does hurt a bit still though. I am putting my wrap back on. The doctor wrote a prescription for a lace up ankle wrap, but I couldn't find the place she was talking about to buy it in.
But if you're having a rough day, check out my sweet Fiona, I don't know how anyone could stay in a bad mood looking at that sweet face. Not to mention, you can check out my new linens.
The talk is percolating along nicely. I got an article, to work from, that talked about the bridges in our lives that help us. It was nice because it had 3 bridges it listed, service, prayer and obedience. I labeled three papers and every time I have a thought I write it down on the proper page.
I have a cute story to share about prayer, the girls and "T" the cat. We lost him in our house when he was a little baby and we could not find him, no matter where we looked. We finally knelt down and Fiona said a heartfelt 4 year old prayer, asking to help us find our kitty. We said Amen and then Buttercup stood up and said I know where he is. She went to our love seat pull out couch and insisted he was in there. We had already checked around there, but I pulled the cushions off and pulled out the twin bed and there he was in a place he couldn't possibly have fit in. We were all so relieved.

I am waiting to Freak Out!

In our church, the people in the congregation speak each Sunday, instead of having the same preacher every Sunday. I just got asked to teach the 14-15 year old girls every Sunday, and then today the powers that be asked me to speak next Sunday. They used to ask you far in advance and then I would write it right off and spend the next 4 weeks freaking out. They also used to not give you a topic and spending all of that time figuring out simply what you were going to talk about was the worst. Traditionally the adults speak for about 20 minutes a piece.
But, this time, I only have a week to worry myself silly, they asked me to speak for only 10 minutes and they are giving me an article to speak from. All of those things make it a lot easier. That said, it doesn't help that I view public speaking in the same horror as dental exams. I have conquered some of my dental exams fears simply because I have started going regularly and I just expect them to find something wrong. It makes it much easier. But I don't want to get over my fears in public speaking by doing it regularly. I would rather do it not at all!
Thank heavens I only have to do it for 10 minutes. I can take up half of that time doing the standard introduction, where we are from, about our kids, etc. So, I can get through the time allotted without too many problems. My really main issue, besides sheer terror, is that I am a crier. A big one. And my emotions are more at the surface with church since Fiona got sick. I made Hubby promise to read over my talk and take out anything he thinks might be an issue. I don't think I will say anything at all about her being sick. People will eventually find out anyway or already have.
So, internet me some love, huh? Some advice? I sound fine, I give good talks, or so I have been told, I just need to not worry myself silly. I am very grateful for early morning church (less time to fret).