I am the Best Mom Ever

This is one of those few days that I tell myself that. And I hold onto it for the days when I am trying really hard not to scream shut up at the top of my lungs and slam the door to my bedroom and lock it for hours. I got the girls up this morning, did some reading together and headed off to pick up friends. We went to a neighborhood pool where we splashed and had a good time with more friends. Then we came home, I let them play at the empty elementary school together (don't tell TD, not a big fan), but there were four of them and they promised to rein in Fiona. (Good luck with that, maybe the sheer numbers, versus age, would keep her under control). While they were gone, I made homemade pizza rolls, plus enough for a dinner this week. THEN, I let them help me make chocolate chip cookies. Usually I try and avoid that because it takes the fun out of something I like to do, but they all asked so nicely and seemed to really enjoy it, so another tally in my favor. Then I let them trash the Wii Room getting stuff together for a movie and right now they are playing hide and go seek.
I have to live for times like this because it usually seems that we are all going way too fast, trying to get too much stuff done and the girls just seem to get in the way. Most of the time I feel like if they would just hide out for a few hours and let me get all of my stuff done while not making any more messes of their own...plus let me read my book quietly... I know a lot of that sounds selfish, but sometimes I think moms veer a little too sharply to the martyrdom side and that's just not very pleasant for anyone involved. I know when I do, I never feel good about it. Funny, I don't think trying to feel self righteous and superior makes me feel good. Now, if I could just somehow balance the swimming, cookie baking and hide and seek playing with the big pile of ironing and dirty bathrooms.

Last Week

So I spent most of last week being sick to my stomach. It didn't stop me from doing my usual things, but it did slow me down a bit. I think it didn't help that I got overheated when the air conditioning went out on the house. Friday was the worst. TD stayed home for part of the morning because it started right when I woke up.
This feeling has been sucking the fun out of reading. I have a whole stack of books, but they seem too weighty to dive into. I don't want to actually think about what I am reading. I did go back and read two Harry Potter books which helped. The new movie was really good, but I always hate it when they mess with the story lines. I guess I need to find some really trashy chick lit and entertain myself.
I am looking forward to school being back in. The girls have been mostly fine, but I guess I really like the structure of my days. When the girls are home, I feel obligated to make them help me do the housework. I guess this is mainly due to their messiness and I want them to know how to clean a house. But good grief....they take twice as long and do less than half of the job. So, the house is constantly half cleaned. This doesn't help my nausea.
I think I am going to have to ask the doctor for new pills. I am supposed to adjust to the pills eventually, but this current prescription isn't totally taking away the pain, which is why I started them in the first place. Maybe, eventually, we will stumble across a good set of pills.

Preferential Treatment

When we were dealing with the air conditioning going out, it reminded me of last year when the same thing happened. We had a home warranty last time and I got quick service because we had a person with a serious illness on the premises. This time, I was thinking the same thing. It's been almost a year since Fiona took her pills and yet I still can't let go of the idea that I need to do whatever I have to do, to get whatever I need to make her life easy. I felt like calling and telling someone that she needed to get air conditioning again. Before, whenever she got hot, she would run a temperature. We had noticed this years before she got sick, I think she gets it from her dad, he has problems with the heat and gets raging headaches if he's not aware of how warm he is. When you run a temperature and are taking chemo or have a port-a-cath, you get a free hospital admission. So we were very concerned last year. This year, I wasn't as concerned, but I still had it nagging in the back of my mind.

I wonder when this is going to go away. When I won't look at her as a time bomb. I think this is another one of those things that people, who haven't dealt with it, don't understand. There are no guarantees, they no longer call them cured. The term is now long term survivor. There are some kids with blood cancers that recur after 5 years. 5 years is the baseline for long term survivors. Not only recurrence, but the chemo she took can have long term consequences. I took some of the same medicines and I now read that the average age for children, who took this medicine, to have cardiac side effects is 27. 27?! I am now 7 years past that. Now I am starting to feel like a time bomb. That's not true, I have felt that way for a while. You should've seen TD's face when the oncologist shared that tidbit about both Fiona and me. The really wild thing is that the effects are not mitigated by working out. But I look at it this way, all of the stuff I do to keep my heart healthy can't hurt. But, I can deal with me, I know what I can handle. It's the idea that this little fluffy haired mama's girl could have to deal with that stuff again is what gets me.

For now, the air conditioning is nice and cool and she has what she needs and I can't really ask for more.

Oh, her next CT scan is August 3rd.

The Joys of Homeownership

When you were a little kid, dreaming of being an adult and all of the freedom that comes with it, how come no one rudely interrupted and said, Yes freedom is all well and good, but what about the car repair bills, and the property taxes and the a/c bills. Last night, I noticed that the house wasn't cooling. We haven't totally reprogrammed the thermostat since we got back from vacation because the girls and I don't notice when it's warmer in the house and we turn it down when we leave the house as well. Anyway, I figured that I could just turn it up and everything would be fine. Well, it didn't seem to be getting any cooler...and it wasn't. Ugh! It's been really hot here lately. I am not really complaining, I only notice when I get into get into the car. But that's because we have air conditioning everywhere and the pool outside.
So, we called a few places, but some weren't open and one had their first available appointment Saturday afternoon. Not good! So we busted out the fans and I left TD alone in our room. We usually have the hottest room in the house and TD's big muscles generate a LOT of heat, so there was no way I was hanging out with him in a hot room. I got a little creative though, big box fan and plate full of ice cubes. That worked for two hours and then I woke up. So I grabbed one of the blue ice things for the cooler and that worked longer. I managed to sleep until 7am. We usually keep the house around 78 degrees and when we got it up, it was 85 in the house. UGH!
So, at 7am, I called a place this morning and she asked why we didn't call last night!! We were working our way down the BB Bureau's website. So she sent a guy over in less than an hour and in 20 minutes it had the problem fixed. Of course, it cost us $300. And the guy said he couldn't be sure, but in the next few years, we would probably have to replace the a/c unit, to the tune of $6,000.
I suppose it's another reason to be glad that we bought a single level house. I can't imagine paying $12k to replace both units. Still...good grief! I think we might have to put the girls to work. But I am very glad that it only cost $300 and that I found out now what it will cost to replace it. The a/c guy said he had a woman start bawling when he told her she needed to have hers replaced. Well, if you hand me a bill for $6000 and there's no car involved, I might start crying too. At least I know now and can start hoarding my change.

Another Random Thing

See, another thing happened yesterday, that seems too short to just post, but way interesting. I am reading Ice Bound by Dr. Jerri Nielsen. It's about the woman who discovered she had breast cancer while stuck in Antarctica. This was during the winter and it was too cold to get her out. She said the high octane jet fuel would turn to jelly during the winter. Weird. Anyway, I was reading it at the Y and some old guy sat down next to me and asked if she survives. Spoiler alert: I got the book because I heard she died of the disease recently. Anyway, it turns out, he spent 6 months there in the 60s while he was in the Navy. Small world, huh? Her account is fascinating. I am sure it's extra fascinating because of my aversion to all things cold and trying to contemplate how I would survive there and keep all of my appendages. I do highly recommend the book.

Just Things

I don't feel like I have had enough for a real post lately. My days are spent corralling the girls, trying not to gag them and throw them in a closet. I mean seriously, they have no reason to fight, ever. TD always says that they are spoiled, as to things of the world, and should have no problem entertaining themselves. I guess I feel guilty if we aren't doing something constructive together.

I think about things like, wanna know a great way to multi-task? I never have gross looking feet because,sometimes, before I go to the Y, I put on one of two things. If my feet just need a little softening, I put the peppermint lotion on. It makes my feet tingle, which helps when I am jogging on the treadmill.

If my feet feel rough, then I use the coconut version. I needed it after the Florida trip, between all of the barefoot things I did. But if you put it on before you work out, all of the sweat helps the lotion work overtime. Plus, I hate wearing socks to bed, so I never put it on at bedtime.

I was complaining before about how long summer seems, but it is already July. It might help that I had so many things to look forward to. Last month we were gone to Florida, this month TD and I have good tickets to Phantom of the Opera. I love watching that musical. This is the first time I will have seen it outside of San Francisco. Then in August, my baby brother is getting married and I get to fly, ALONE, to hang out with my family. TD gets some girl time and has to take them to the first day of school!

So, I am sure, sooner than I realize, the girls will be back in school and I will have my house to myself again. But for now, it's off for some morning swimming and then the weekly trip to Walmart. I could use some good hot weather meals, meatloaf and mashed potatoes doesn't sound that appealing when it's 103 outside.