End of the Year

So, I spent most of this week transferring our home videotapes to DVDs. It was so amazing to go back over the girls' early years, watching their transformations from babies to toddlers and on. About late 2005, Fiona starts taking on the look she had when she got sick. Her hair was really long and her manner was incredibly engaging.
I am not just saying this because I was her mom. I would watch people turn and watch her in the grocery store and smile to themselves. She was very outgoing and articulate. She would get extra cookies from the bakery at the grocery store, without asking. Once when I was getting another key for our car, the owner of the dealership ( I didn't know that he was the owner) took one look at her and went to a display case, took out a teddy bear, and gave it to her. It felt like she had gotten an extra sprinkling of sugar, a double extra sprinkling of spice, and a bunch more of everything nice before she got here. Everyone knew who Fiona was, I would hear things like, " Oh! You're Fiona's mom."
While I watch the videos right before she got sick, it's a bit like watching a train headed for a wreck. You know what's going to happen, but you are powerless to warn anyone, much less stop it. I just keep waiting for the first video to show up after she was diagnosed. If I could've warned us, I am not sure what I would've said. Something horrible that happened to you as a child is going to happen to your sweet little baby? Everything will eventually be okay?
I am not sure how much, if any, video we took while she was ill. Our video camera was dying and I don't think that was something that our much needed funds were going to be 'wasted' on. Now I wish that we would've replaced it and documented her experience more. Most of what she went through is recorded only in the mind of Fiona and myself.
Oh! We do have some video while she is balding and chubby. Maybe if we would've made more video this wouldn't be so shocking. She's so little. Her voice is so high pitched and squeaky. She is singing and dancing and playing with her sister for the camera like nothing is wrong. It's so heart breaking and yet inspiring at the same time. She is still Fiona underneath the steroids and the missing hair. I might have to try and figure out how to upload this little interview she had with her dad around Halloween of 2006.

Not so Silent Night

So, we had a great Christmas Eve spent with friends and tons of food. We got home and managed to get the girls in bed. Thank heavens they had run themselves out at dinner and by the time I checked on them at 9:30pm they were out cold. So was their dad. Seriously. He was snoring by 9:30pm! This left me to get Christmas all together by myself. I turned on It's a Wonderful Life. Did you know the running time on that movie is only 2 hours 9 minutes. Half of the time I don't watch it on TV is that I don't want to commit 3 and a half hours of my life to watching one movie. Maybe I should just break down and buy the movie and that way I won't have to be stuck.

So I kept sneaking out of my room and stacking presents by the tree. Is there really anything more cheerful than a Christmas tree with presents under it? Now that they are all gone I want to take the tree down because it looks a bit sad. Then I did the stockings and managed to turn off the lights before 11pm. Unfortunately, Christmas is apparently some sort of different holiday here in Texas because at 12:06am I awoke to the sound of fire crackers. Like the kind that Kevin lights at the back door in Home Alone. I was so exhausted that I couldn't get out of bed and yell out the window what exactly our neighbor could do with his noisemakers. He lit several strings and I am not sure if he stopped or I just passed out again. What a moron. Maybe I should print out the lyrics to Silent Night, underline a few passages and tape it to his front door.

Fiona told me that she and Buttercup woke up at 1am and didn't go back to sleep. We told them they weren't allowed to get up until 6:30am, our normal wake up time. But I kept hearing stuff through my sleep and finally I got up at 6:15am. I swear I get less sleep Christmas Eve as a mom than I did as a kid and I start out fully prepared, nothing to assemble, nothing to wrap. I slap a few bows on a some presents and that's it.

The girls had a wonderful Christmas. There were so many great deals close to the end of the year I think I am going to start a special fund for those things. Of course, I think it helped that retailers were so desperate this year.
Buttercup made out in the clothes department. What really happened is that I managed to find some good deals, mostly at Old Navy, and used that chance to resupply her wardrobe. Poor girl, she grew several inches in the last couple of months. Old Navy had skinnier and longer clothes. Online they have talls as well, which makes me so happy.

I spent the rest of the day trying to not take a nap, talking to my siblings and just enjoying a day of doing nothing. It's surprisingly hard to not clean stuff. I figured if I can't take Christmas off then I have a serious problem.

Then we continued our family tradition, since we moved to Texas, of having Mexican food for dinner. I got a cookbook to our old favorite restaurant, Chevy's, and we had shrimp and steak fajitas, followed by too many baked goods.

Afterwards, Fiona convinced me to sleep with her and I got 9 good hours of sleep, which hasn't happened in months. Poor TD, he just has sleep issues and it was making me think I had problems. It was nice to sleep with a quiet little girl who doesn't kick or make noise.

Say Hello to My Little Friends

You know, the ones that have been keeping me from writing my totally entertaining posts that everyone is on edge of their seat waiting for.

Anyway, a lot of my time has been spent this month hanging out with these dudes
Which I have been enjoying. I have also been enjoying hanging out with muddy buddies which I would show you a picture of, but I hung out with them entirely too much and I am sorry to say, as of yesterday, they are no longer with us. Plus, the window on my season of debauchery is closing and I am not sure I can legitimately squeeze in another recipe. Rats! I have also been chilling with these which used to be my totally favorite cookies, but now my gingerbread recipe has edged past them for taste and also the lesser calorie count! Meaning, I can eat two of them for the guilt price of one of the sugar cookies. The cookie on the left is known as Mom's cookie, or as TD refers to it, sprinkles with a hint of cookie. What can I say, I really love the sprinkles on my cookies, or doughnuts, or even a good cake sometimes.

And finally, these lesser players have been taking up my time as well. Which doesn't give them any less of a special place on my thighs, I mean, in my heart. Especially the toffee...mmm. Anyway, all of the extra cooking has taken up my time and kind of eaten into my thinking time. (haha). So I have expected all of you to keep up with your posts to entertain me in my down time but not reciprocating.
I am sure the next few weeks will be full of presents and children fighting and end of the year wrap ups, hopefully having the girls home won't diminish my wanting to post more often.

Epitome of Irony

My husband's Aunt offered to send a book that belonged to Td's great grandma. She helped raise him and we thought it was eerie that the weekend I moved in next to him, his great grandma passed. It was sort of a passing of the torch. While I never got to meet her, I will be forever grateful for the influence she had on him. Not only that! But she was born to a Mormon family in Idaho. TD has more LDS ancestors than I do and wasn't really introduced to the church until we got married.
So, Robbyn sent us a book that ended up being her Christian Scientist scriptures, which I found fascinating. Even more so, she has written a lot of thoughts in the pages of the book. Td remembers his great-grandma having the book.
Anyway, the irony was that I found her chart card from the Medford Physicians clinic, she must've been using it as her bookmark. So, clearly, she was liberal in her worship. I just found it wild that that would be the thing she was using as her bookmark.

Snowed In

Not literally. But it's starting to feel that way. I had a pretty good handle on the season and then one good flurry and I am buried! Somehow, I managed to sign up to be Buttercup's homeroom mom. I am still not sure how that happened. It doesn't help that her homeroom teacher is a substitute step teacher at the Y. So I already knew her before Buttercup got her as a teacher. But the party is next week and I just found out yesterday.
Then both of our girls belong to church groups, Fiona to the 8-9 year olds, which I do activities for twice a month and then Buttercup to the 10-11 year olds. Buttercup's group has decided to have some extra activities which I have to come up with Buttercup's part. Plus, I still have to do my activity for the month. Thank heavens for great friends back in Portland. I had an idea that I needed help with and once again, Ranell is coming through for me.
Then I started wrapping presents and TD and I have this thing where, just about anything purchased in December goes under the tree. If someone needs a new shirt, it gets wrapped and goes under the tree and everything gets it's own box. That's all well and good until it's time for me to wrap and then hide them. Things that were shoved into small areas to hide, aren't well hidden after they are boxed and wrapped.
Thank heavens TD has finished two sets of classes and shouldn't be buried in his computer constantly for the next couple of weeks. At least he will be around to help herd the girls.
I guess I would take this in exchange for being physically incapacitated. No surgery or wrecked ankles this year, knock on wood.

I think I would make a good Tweeter

I also think of random things to say, but a lot of them can't be developed into a full post, but stuff that I just want to say.

Thanksgiving was great. It's nice to be far away from family. I know! Not what is usually said. One of these years we are going to drop in my brother, but while he's living currently in Denver, it would require a plane ride instead of a car trip. I don't know how snow worthy the magic school bus is.

Fiona was her usual picky self. Not exactly what I would term a Thanksgiving feast. It was probably due to the fact that she had a hold of a Wheat Thins box shortly before dinner. Actually we should call it lunch because, between Dave and the girls, no one wants to wait until afternoon and since it was just us, I figured why not. I had to post a picture of my plate in comparison. Since it's just the four of us, I made turkey breast. When I was in charge of my family's 20+ people Thanksgiving, I made two turkey breasts. I don't like dealing with the carcass of a regular bird, plus whether to stuff it or not and what to do with the dark meat that no one eats. I got an 8lb breast and we are going to use the leftovers for freezer meals and some really good sandwiches.
Then Fiona had the nerve to make nasty noises over my cherry pie. This while TD, Buttercup and I were trying to find ways to rationalize eating that very pie for the next 4 meals straight.

I headed out around 7am today to pick up a few things at the stores around us. This has worked well for me before because usually the crazy ( no offense) up in the middle of the night people are worn out and gone, but most of the good deals are still there. I started with Target. It was a mad house. I wasn't prepared because the parking lot didn't look that bad. There wasn't anything good left and the lines stretched around the store! It wasn't worth it to wait in line for Paul Blart, Mall Cop for $5.99 for an hour and a half. So then I headed to Walmart. They were so much better! I got a good parking spot, I found the really cheap DVDs and even had a chance to grab a gallon of milk. (Side note, I read that the McCaugheys septuplet house only buys 5 gallons of milk a week. Either they ration the milk or our family has some serious milk issues. I picked up our 5th gallon this week and it's only Friday.) I didn't have to wait in line at all and got a bunch of really cheap DVDs.

I was headed to Kohl's for some church clothes for Buttercup but their parking lot was crazy and I remembered how bad their lines usually are. What I want for her wouldn't be a hot ticket item for anyone and their sale lasts all weekend, so I will try again later.

Then Walgreens had buy one get one free Webkinz. I bought my allotted four. Those are the best gifts to have hidden away for an unexpected birthday party or when someone's had a really bad day. They were the things I really wanted anyway. They are much more expensive than last year. Last year they were $5.99 and this year they are $9.99. That's fine, I wasn't up for much spending on anything else anyway. We found out on Tuesday that we had to have our a/c installed on Wednesday in order to take advantage of our $1,000 rebate. So the debate was over on when we would have our a/c installed. I asked TD if we should wrap it and open it up on Christmas morning. It was the most expensive thing I have ever bought that I couldn't either drive or live in.

Scared

I don't think you can ever be truly scared until you are a parent. Before then, it's things like being scared about failing in school, or scared that your parents will find out you did something. After you have kids, well I think this quote expresses it best, it's something like becoming a mother (or a parent) is like letting your heart walk outside of your body.
I never really got scared when we had Buttercup. She was such a good baby, honestly, if every baby was like her, people would be having 4 or 5 of her. The only time she ever scared me was the night we brought her home from the hospital. I nursed her at 10:30pm and then fell into the sleep of a new mom that was in labor for 24 hours and then spent a restless night at the hospital. I woke up at 5:30am realizing that the expected every two hour wakening did not happen. I sat bolt up right in bed. I checked on her and she was still sleeping after all that time. See, I told you she was a good baby.
Fiona, on the other hand, was trouble from the get go. At about 17 months she had a non febrile seizure, for no apparent reason. To this day, I still don't know why she had it. All that I can say is in that moment, when I picked her up off the floor and her lips were turning blue and I was yelling for TD, I felt horribly helpless. Luckily this only lasted for half a second and my CPR training kicked in and I had her breathing before the paramedics got there 3 minutes later. Of course, the next couple of months, I kept sneaking into her room while she slept, to watch her chest rise and fall.
That is a tie with the hour and a half TD and I spent in the surgical waiting room at Doernbecher's. The way her cancer presented, a mediastinal mass, made diagnosis difficult. Her silver dollar pancake tumor was laying on top of her heart and lungs and made sedation unwise for tests. The only time I ever left her during her treatment was when I made TD sit with her for her bone marrow biopsy without full sedation. I just couldn't do it. I sucked it up after that. Her anesthesiologist, who I will ever have hateful feelings for, came in to explain to us that the weight of the tumor on her lungs was a major concern. The naturally occurring muscle tension in her lungs would be diminished by the sedation and could cause the weight of the tumor to smash her lungs, something they would be unable to fix. He then told us he was scared. Doctors should never tell you they are scared when they are going to be cutting into your 4 year old baby. EVER.
They came out half way through the procedure to tell us that while they were able to cut a neck lymph node out of her while she was awake, they were unable to get a diagnosis from it and would have to put her under to biopsy the actual tumor. And thus, the 90 minutes of total terror. When the surgeon finally came out , he told us that he got some good samples. The first words out of my mouth were, " She made it?" That should've been what he led with.
Luckily for me, our visit to the hospital this week dials back the scare significantly. While we are about 21 months from calling her a long term survivor, the doctor said the likelihood of a relapse is insignificant now and she sees nothing but good things for our girl. While I know that we are never certain, this pep talk from the doctor really helped.

I Am So Weak

Yeah, so how many days did it take before I broke? I went to Target to size up Junior clothes for Buttercup, poor girl, she's tall and skinny like her Mom and her struggle with clothes has already started. Meaning, she's outgrowing her 10/12 sized shirts, but the 14/16 are made for girls much wider than she is. I thought maybe XS Junior sizes might work. They are for scrawny teenage girls and let's face it, Buttercup is over 5 feet tall.
Being a typical girl I have a hard time resisting the lure of Target. I wandered over to the Christmas section. And I caved! I bought wrapping paper, beautiful Mickey and Minnie giving each other presents paper. Just wandering through the aisles made me so happy. Companies really pull out the stops when it comes to things for Christmas. Want to know what I am really a sucker for? Those gift baskets, especially food. I love the little pots of jams. When TD worked for the region, based in Seattle, when we lived in Portland, his boss would send us Harry and David towers! It was awesome.
I also got some boxes so I could start wrapping presents. See, I am three for three when it comes to lame holiday seasons. I actually mean lame in its literal sense. My right foot hurts and my brother, the medical genius, has diagnosed either tendonitis (keep your fingers crossed) or a stress fracture. I really hope it's not a fracture, but I am an athletic, tall, white woman with high arches.... it's a miracle I haven't gotten one before. Remember, my first Christmas here in Texas I had the closest to an ankle break without actually breaking it and then last year I had the surgery. Hopefully I just strained something in my foot after a crazy Pilates class on Thursday. By crazy, I mean they are a lot more gung ho than I am.
So, as of right now, I have my foot propped up, with an ice pack. Here's to hoping that I will wake up in the next day or two miraculously recovered.

Too Much Too Soon

I LOVE Christmas! Absolutely love it. It's my favorite time of the year and I keep it in mind all year when I am collecting bargains as potential Christmas presents for the girls. But I HATE this time of the year. You know, when Target sets out their Christmas stuff at the same time they are setting out their Halloween items.

Don't get me wrong. I feel like the second my first piece of pie has been eaten on Thanksgiving Day, we can bust out the Christmas tree and put the decorations up. But until then, I think it's because I hate being manipulated and overly encouraged to spend money. Right now, I have enough things to make the girls' Christmas fabulous, I just need to buy stocking stuffers and Christmas Eve PJs and slippers and that's it. It's about time for me to start avoiding stores simply so I am not tempted to spend money. They have so many cute things and so many great deals that I feel like I am missing out on, but we really don't need them. Plus all of the Christmas decor items make me want to spend money too. I wish they would just wait. I want to enjoy the girls loving Halloween, I want to enjoy Pie day, I mean Thanksgiving, with my family. I like making the meal and I really like eating it. But I feel like we are being forced to rush past these holidays because they aren't big money makers for the stores.

I can foresee this being a big problem this year. Stores are wanting to make some serious cash this year to make up for the recession problems, but I sure don't need to help them.

Busy, Busy

I haven't had as much to say lately. Now that we are adjusting for our health care going up, we figured out that we had probably better replace the a/c unit as well. Nice, huh? Not that we have an extra $10,000 to throw around. This is another one of those things, like car service and dentists where you have to rely on someone to assure you that, yes, you do need to cough up large amounts of money to fix something that may or may not be broken. I mean, if your tooth doesn't hurt you have to believe them when they say you have a cavity. Well, we have an a/c unit that is mismatched with the condensor upstairs. Which size do we really need? I have heard that too large of a unit and you aren't doing yourself any good. Then, what SEER do we need, what is a SEER? Which sizes are eligible for the tax credit? Ugh, it's been several years since I have taken science, but it seems like I need a degree to figure this stuff out. I really do need to call my brother, who is training in HVAC, but he's the newlywed, and who knows if he'll answer his phone!
Buttercup is getting picked on at school. She desperately wants to be friends with the cool girls because they have termed everyone else tattletales or know it alls. So she is willing to listen to how ugly she is, how badly she dresses, how thick her arm hair is ( I mean, really?) so that she can be in the presence of these two idiot girls. But the one, the queen bee, was the only one who was in her class last year and is in her class now. And her excuse for taking all of this is that she's known her the longest. So, we keep having discussions about how she doesn't have to put up with it, how she's worth more than that. You know, if we were a movie, I would take her for a killer haircut, get her contacts and a new wardrobe and presto! She would be the cool girl. Sad for her that her mom doesn't work that way.
At least life is never dull.

Happy Halloween

Moe bought me this costume last year, back when I wasn't feeling very good. I told her that I would wear it this year and I really have. I wore it to Fiona's party and then I wore it last night to our church party. I have to say, I kept getting a lot of looks from the under 6 girlie set.

I wonder why?

Crunch Time

We got some sad news this past month. Our normally great health insurance benefits are changing. I really feel that TD's company is using the idea that, while they don't think the national health care plan is going to pass, they can use it to scare us into being happy with whatever they shove at us. This is especially scary for our family because between Fiona and myself, any year could be fairly catastrophic in the money department for health issues. Instead of a straight forward HMO, we now have deductibles, percentages paid, higher co-pays, etc. I have never wanted to have the percentages thing because I worry that it will come down to suffering versus shelling out the major cash to fix something. That's really for me or TD, we would never do something like that with the girls.
So, I am going through our current bills and filtering out things we don't really need, just in case. I am not expecting anything to happen, but our health care is going up (with less coverage, nice, huh?) and Buttercup is starting a long teeth straightening process (don't let your kids suck their thumbs!). One place we can cut is our home phone. We hardly ever use it, plus I have an extra cell line and over 3,000 rollover minutes. This way, TD, the girls and I all have a phone we can use. But I am on the fence. Also, we could switch from Comcast to satellite and save.
Do you have ideas or comments on this? Any concerns or things that have happened to you? I just want to make things easier on our family and not lose our current standard of living in case something else happens.

YMCA Results

I know some of you are thinking, dear gracious, if she waxes on any more about the Y, I might have to learn her true identity, hunt her down and beat her over the head with some sort of workout equipment. (You won't have to bring anything, I do have dumbbells at my house, LOL!)
I decided earlier this year that I was going to do more classes, instead of working out on the cardio machines all of the time. This turned out to be a good idea because the teacher pushes me more than I would ever push myself.
I have been doing 2 Zumba classes a week, which is really fun, especially when it's Friday mornings and not the Wednesday classes with the boys. I also do a couple of step classes, which also really work my legs. I would NEVER do some of the stuff that they make us do in step class, squats, lunges, intervals, ugh! But I like doing it when someone else makes me do it.
And now, I have confirmed results. I bought a pair of jeans, online, at Eddie Bauer, in my usual size, but not the usual cut, right before we went to Portland in February. When I got them, I couldn't wear them comfortably without some sort of shapewear underneath. Which still wouldn't be considered comfortable. I was so bummed because they were expensive (for me). Last night, I grabbed some jeans to put on so the family could make a Target run. It turned out that I grabbed those jeans and slid them right on, with some room to spare. I haven't really changed my eating habits, especially for the better, so I can only credit the Y classes. Let's just hope I can continue wearing those jeans through the holiday season!

Making A Mark

While downloading the photos from my camera from Fiona's party, I came across photos from a reception that we attended at Texas Childrens. During the year, the Periwinkle Foundation, located here in Texas, collects artwork from children at the hospital and selects some art as worthy of recognition. Then they have one of their receptions and make some of the art available for purchase as a way to raise money and recognize the children. Then they send part of the collection, around the nation, for exhibition in different places, Childrens' Museums, airports, schools, etc. This year, one of Fiona's art pieces was selected and we got an invitation to the reception. We always try to go to things like this to support those people that raise money for our sick kids.

So, Fiona got a special tag to wear and we started cruising the area. I have to got to say, Texas Childrens' knows how to do things right. They had all sorts of goodies to eat, several different face painting stations and many crafts for the kids to do. Buttercup loves to come along with her sister and do this stuff. I also love how they get people to volunteer, in this case, there were tons of teenagers running the crafts booths. It really makes me happy to see these kids out helping less fortunate kids. There were even teenage boys who wanted us to judge their versions of the crafts that were set up in their booths. The girls had a great time. I love to bring Fiona along to these things so that people don't always hear about the kids that die. It would be disheartening to support a cause and only come into contact with the horribly sick and dying kids. They need to know, and see, that with their support, the kids get better and live great lives! Just like my sweet little Fiona.

Revelations

So I was at the Y, on the stairmill and reading my O magazine. I'm not the biggest fan of Oprah, but the magazine is interesting and it was a cheap subscription. I was reading an article termed, "How to become the person you were meant to be". There was the main article which was lined by personal excerpts in which people announced when they realized that they wanted to do.
I read one that made me see red.

" The revelation came with the washing machine. My mother was a supertalented woman who could do anything- paint, build, cook, make costumes. One day when I was about 11, my father gave her a washing machine, and she was so thrilled. I thought What? Here's this woman with all of this incredible talent, and she's excited because she was given a washing machine? That's when I said, " I want a career".
Take this in before I type what I thought when I read this.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Seriously? What an ungrateful kid and now woman. This admittedly talented woman chose, CHOSE! to stay home and raise you and share her talents to make your childhood the best it could be. Then, your dad gives your mom something that would make her life so much easier and give her more time to spend helping you and you think she should've done something else with her life. If this had been my daughter writing this, especially when she's old enough to know how to spare my feelings, I would be crushed! To know that my entire life's work, all of the love I put into helping my daughters have the best childhood merely made my child think someone needed to get a life.
I do have to say that my indignation helped me go faster on the machine. Of course, the person next to me might not have appreciated all of the grumbling under my breath.

Volunteering

Way back when Buttercup was in 1st grade, I signed up to be a volunteer in her class. The teacher assigned me to come in every Thursday and read with Buttercup's reading group for an hour and a half. For me, listening to little kids read, including my own, is akin to nails on a chalkboard. Ugh, I am not sure what it is, but at the end of each session, I would want to put sharpened pencils into each ear. It was also rough because TD had to come home at a particular time for lunch so he could watch Fiona while I was gone.
It was the next year that Fiona was diagnosed and I had absolutely no time for anything else. Of course, it wouldn't have helped that Fiona didn't want to be watched, most of the time, by anyone but me. For the two years of her treatment, I wasn't willing to be locked into a specific time or activity because I never knew what could be happening on a specific day.
I told TD that I would be taking the 2008-2009 school year off from everything around the day of Fiona's diagnosis. I knew, from looking at the treatment schedule, that I would be exhausted, and rightly so.
This year came around and since we were in a different school district from the last time I volunteered, I started paying attention to what was available. I figured that I would have a much more enjoyable experience if I picked what I like to do and worked that into my time with the girls. That really has made it much more fun for me.
For Fiona's class, I signed up to read to them, NOT the other way around. I even told the teacher that I would read what she picked out to make it even less stressful. I absolutely love it. She has a really well behaved class and it makes me think, even more, about becoming a librarian somewhere.
At Buttercup's school, I signed up for the library (shocker!). I volunteer during the time that Buttercup's class is in there. I shelve books and also make recommendations for the kids picking out their reading books. I love that I get to see what books they are reading and check out ones that I think Buttercup would like.
No longer to I dread the days I volunteer. I really look forward to being in the girls' schools with them, interacting with their peers and getting my hands on books. I am glad I have these opportunities to combine what I love with hanging out with my girls.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I used to say that Winter was my favorite season. That is until I realized that the holiday season is basically all of Fall. Christmas falls only four short (or long if you are a kid) days after the beginning of Winter. Plus, when Christmas is finally over, I am pretty ready to move on.
I used to say Winter, until I moved to Eugene and Portland where Winter is something to be endured rather than enjoyed. The first winter we moved to Eugene, they had their highest rainfall on record. It normally rains about 36 inches there. That year, it rained 79! There was a park we took my little sisters to to feed ducks. I didn't realize that an entire part of the park, benches included, was submerged. In Portland, it can be 33 degrees and not snow, not even tease. It's just really, really cold water and my toes and fingers were basically numb from October to April.
But here in Houston? The beginning of Fall here is the start of amazing weather. I thought that Christmas would be harder to adjust to, without even the possibility of snow. However, an insignificant amount of snow would paralyze the Portland area, keeping the kids home and making it impossible to go anywhere, thus making everyone crazy. Then it would get dirty or melt quickly.
Today it was the mid-70s. I wore a light sweatshirt to the Y this morning and I had the sunroof open, soaking in the wonderful sunshine. The girls are going to be able to wear their Halloween costumes without a parka that would cover them up. This is the time I always enjoy the weather here and I am looking forward to many sunny days ahead.

I Still Love My Y, But....

So, our Y is getting renovated. I am okay with this. I mean, we were supposed to have the biggest Y in the state, which in Texas should be saying something. But apparently, it was time to upgrade. So, starting back in August, they started moving things around. I can be patient, especially when they promise bigger, fancier, and more parking.
But I have one problem. There is a big gym that can be split into 3 semi separate areas, a big canvas type curtain rolls down from the ceiling leaving about 10 feet on either side. The first area is taken up with the new temporary childwatch. Okay, great. On Fridays, our Zumba class takes up the other two areas, which is good because it's a pretty full house and we like to move around.
However, on Wednesdays we have to share with the guys, meaning they play basketball in the middle area and we get the end where the sound system is. We keep to our area, but the guys aren't as committed as we are. This is bad for me because I am always in the back right corner, right next to the door and next to the canvas curtain. Right where the guys like to hang out and watch us. And sometimes pretend to attempt the moves while really just mocking us.
I have never been self conscious, before, about doing the Zumba moves. Now I am intensely aware that I am shaking my booty in front of a bunch of men. Ugh! It just makes me feel diiirrrttyy. I wish the guys were a bit more mature, huh?
Ah well, around the first of the year, we will be in a bigger better facility and hopefully nowhere near the guys.
On a better note, all of the exercise has been better for my nausea and general malaise, yay!

Highs and Lows

So, Monday I felt awful, a night of stomach churning nausea will do that to you. So that night I took two Benadryls to make sure I slept solidly. I did and I when I woke up, I felt mostly okay. I was pretty excited about that. But... I didn't want to take those every night. Tuesday night I didn't take them and Wednesday was not good. Did you know that sometimes wet Cocoa puffs might make you dry heave over the sink? The girls have been instructed to rinse their own cereal bowls now.
After spending the day seasick, I took another couple of Benadryls that night. This time it didn't work, I was so sad. Now I wasn't just nauseous, I was limb numbingly tired. I was supposed to be decorating for Halloween on Thursday. Now, you already know my opinion of Halloween, so the exhaustion wasn't making me any more excited. I made sure to get the doughnuts and apple juice. I left the clings for the girls and they were excited to decorate themselves. Being a master spin doctor, the girls don't know how lazy I was, they were glad I saved some for them to do.
Today was okay. You know what really helps? Working out at the Y. For a while I am distracted long enough and then the endorphins start flowing. Unfortunately when I am done, I am back to feeling sick.
Fiona felt so sorry for me that she agreed to make a grocery run before school so that I didn't have to attempt the overwhelming amount of food and smells alone. She did a good job of distracting me. She is such a happy cheerful little person that it's a joy just to be around her.
The doctor said that it takes 3 months for my body to get used to it. One week down, 11 to go.

Cooking

Hey, I am going to start just posting recipes on my cooking blog, http://thecookinggene.blogspot.com/ . That way, you can have the recipes and I don't have the pressure of making it all nice and pretty and documented with pictures. That's been my stumbling block when it comes to the other blog. It interrupts my cooking groove to stop and pick up the camera. So enjoy, let me know what you think of the food.

Dinnertime

I am going back to my basics for dinner time that I started when Fiona was sick. Freezer meals! Seriously, when people would ask me what they could do to help, I would encourage them to bring dinner. They would scoff that off and end up not doing anything. Which was fine, I didn't want to pressure anyone, but just about the best help I ever got was when someone would bring a dinner (thanks Ranell, you were the best!). My day, while Fiona was on steroids, would involve cooking all day long. She didn't want a bag of Cheetos, she wanted homemade nachos, later followed by a hot dog, later on she would want a taco. You catch my drift. So I spent all day cooking and cleaning. When dinnertime rolled around, I was really indifferent to coming up with dinner ideas.

Now, I am again back to being indifferent at dinnertime. Sort of a combination of the hot weather and the nausea. Then I remembered how much I loved having freezer meals. I have a few that are tried and true and I have started compiling more recipes. It also helps that we never eat an entire recipe of something. We can eat half and freeze the other half.

So, I combed through my recipes and borrowed a few cookbooks from the library. It is really easy to find recipes, especially if you start with a good cookbook that tells you what freezes well and what doesn't. This time around I don't have an outdoor freezer, so instead of putting the meals into disposable pans, I am pouring them into ziploc freezer bags and it's amazing how many meals I can fit into my side by side. I got several chicken recipes in last week and I am going to work on hamburger this week. I am just not ambitious (crazy?) enough to do one of those cook for a day, eat for 30.

Health Update

So, I spent all summer taking different variations of the pill, writing down the pros and cons of each. My doctor wanted me to see her before she prescribed any more. I brought in my list and WOW! was she different from last time. She was very robotic last time and wanted to know, at the end of the appointment, why I was upset. Well, let's see, she just said she's not sure there is a cure, and what she has to give me is going to make me very uncomfortable for a while. So, she's sentenced me to chronic pain for about the next 20 years and the cure might be worse than the disease... and she wonders why I was upset.
Now to this visit, she was cheerful, glad to see my list and wanted to know how things were going. We discussed my options and she thought trying a pill with more estrogen (to control the pain) and less progesterone (to control the nausea) would be the way to go. And that I should take this pill for the next 3 months straight to see if the side effects do wear off. I went home cheerful and actually excited that things might get under control. Also, she warned me that if we do nothing it will just get worse. This made me feel really good about my decision to keep trying the pill. So, I took my first pill of my new prescription last night and went to bed.

My first thought at 2am was, what the heck was I thinking? At 3:30am, when I was retching over the toilet, I thought, there is no way I can survive the next three months of this.
What is it about being sick at night that just makes everything worse? I suppose I could've gotten up, but my bed is so comfortable. Secretly, what I really wanted to do, was wake up TD and banish him to the couch so I could turn on the TV and also surf the internet. But I didn't. Maybe after Moe leaves, I can just get up and walk to her room and sleep in the bed and watch TV without disturbing anyone. Hopefully it won't go on that long. I didn't manage to pass out ( I would say fall asleep but it wasn't like that) until around 5am. Ugh, I am totally dragging today, not to mention, the nausea hasn't entirely left.
But! I am determined to live with the cure as well, or better, than I lived with the disease. This means, I am off to the Y. Trust me, I am not jogging this morning. Between wanting to vomit and lack of sleep that could only mean a trip to the ER. I am still hoping that things are going to get better and they say a positive attitude makes all of the difference, right?

Lessons Learned From Fiona

Remember when I blogged about 'Amy'? Well, we have come up with another problem. Her sister had a birthday party this week and my girls weren't invited. It was the first time in the two years that we have lived here that the girls weren't invited. Buttercup was rather oblivious because it seems that she has outgrown these girls. Since she's moved on to the new school, she has had less time for the girls. Fiona was a bit bummed, but she had another birthday party to attend this weekend, so she was okay.
Fiona's birthday is in just over a month and I was already considering throwing her a Halloween party. My first thought? Well, these little girls won't be invited, that'll show them. So, I started discussing this party with Fiona and asked her who she wanted to invite. The first two invitees out of her mouth were Amy and her sister. She held no ill will towards these girls. Instead of 'showing' them, she just wanted them to be there.
So, I think I need to learn a bit more from Fiona and take the high road. I think inviting them, despite leaving Fiona out, would set a better example for everyone, including me. Wait until you see the pictures. It's going to be a great party. I have wanted to have a Halloween party for Fiona since she was born. In a few years, she's going to have the scary version and that will be even more fun.

I LOVE Mondays

I really do. It's my chance to start a new week. I have a schedule in my head every week. Sometimes, I manage to accomplish all of my housework, on the day that it's scheduled, or just accomplish it period. Sometimes, I don't. Thus, the joy of a new week and a fresh start.
Today before 10am, I managed to vacuum the carpets, fold half of the laundry, make a casserole for tonight, do my arms workout and get the girls off to school. Hear me roar, huh?
I don't think I ever had a favorite day of the week before. When I was younger, sure I liked Friday because the weekend was starting, until I realized that the weekend wasn't always for fun. My dad would take us woodcutting up in the forest in order to get enough wood to heat the woodstove for the winter. Or, we would get to help with yard work. This was way before I developed my love of hard work and sweating. Then there were the 5 years of paper routes which involved getting up at a horrible hour in order to make sure the papers were delivered on time. Then there were the 5 years of early morning or really late shifts at Mickey D's. Later on, as a Mom, there was no real difference between days, they all sort of blended together.
But now, with the girls in school full time and TD having a set schedule, I can have a set schedule as well. Once I started a schedule I got to see where I could fit other things in. For instance, on Fridays, I go to Buttercup's school during her library time. I get to volunteer where she can see me and be surrounded by books and help her pick out something fun to read.
This Monday has started out so great, let's see if I can keep up the momentum.

Help a Little Kid Out

When Fiona was sick, she was nominated to be a Sparrow. It's this amazing organization that helps school kids raise money for a specific child that has special needs. They partner with a business that underwrites the fundraising and the kids go into the community and do stuff to earn the money provided. They oftentimes raise money on their own. I just got this email and if you aren't partnered with anything else, I would urge you to link your Albertsons card to it. I would myself, but unfortunately we don't have Albertsons and I miss it!



SPARROW CLUBS USA
Albertsons Community Partners Program
Info:
Sparrow Clubs has been approved to receive contributions from Albertsons through the Albertsons Community Partners program. The Albertsons Community Partners program was established in 1997 as a partnership between Albertsons and our communities' schools and non-profit organizations dedicated to the education and development of youth. Sparrow Clubs supporters may link their Albertsons Preferred Savings Card (the blue one) with our Community Partners ID number. When a Preferred Savings Card is scanned during check-out at the register, Albertsons will donate up to 4% of monthly spending amounts to Sparrow Clubs USA! Preferred Savings Cards may be used at Albertsons, Sav-On Drugs, and Osco Drug Stores. This is a great way to support Sparrow Clubs at no cost to you!

CommunityPartners Website:

Sparrow Clubs supporters may link their Preferred Savings Card by going to www.albertsons.com/cp. You will need your Preferred Savings Card number and the phone number that was registered with the card. Sparrow Clubs' Community Partners ID# is 49001020728.
If you do not have a Preferred Savings Card, you may also apply for one at this website.
Supporters must re-link their Preferred Savings Card to Sparrow Clubs every year to continue to support our organization.

Questions:
Email us at info@sparrowclubs.org
Call us at (541) 312-8630

Poor Princess Buttercup

I know, my poor girls and this time I actually mean her. She came home on Monday and laid down on the couch complaining of a headache. I thought the bus ride and thought of homework did it to her, so I let her lay down while I finished making granola bars. When I finally came over to take a look at her, she was beet red and hot. Poor kid. It's been a couple of weeks since Fiona was sick, but whatever this is has been making its way through the school system.
So, she stayed home yesterday and seemed to be recovering rather well. She had a bit of a sniffle and a slight fever, but I figured she would probably be at school today. Last night at 4am she wakes me up. She's tearful and worried about puking. Swell. She apologizes profusely for waking me up, I am sure it's because she's heard me nagging her sister. I told her this is exactly when I should be woken up. I gave her all sorts of medicine and finally got her to go back to bed. But this morning, she was 102.5 and not going to school again.
I hate how much pressure the schools down here put on the kids. She's worried about missing these couple of days. Not to mention, she says some of her friends haven't been feeling well, but they have been worried about the tests and projects they are doing this week and so they didn't want to miss any school. Thanks. Appreciate that. Buttercup hardly ever gets sick. She didn't get it from Fiona because it's been 2 weeks.
Buttercup has been enjoying the special treatment, usually reserved for Fiona. That's one thing, if you never get sick, you never get special treatment. Unless you are a mom and you never get special treatment anyway. I hope I don't get this. Like I said, there wouldn't be any special treatment, just a trashed house and no food awaiting me when I recovered. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
Oh, and if she misses tomorrow, I have to take her to get a doctor's note....so I don't get into trouble. Like there is anything the doctor can do for her.

Poor Princess Fiona

Really I mean poor me. Fiona is having sleep troubles again, this isn't the first time I have blogged about it. Or even the second time. Before, it had to do with all of the drugs floating through her. I am not sure what the problem is this time.
Fiona has always had trouble sleeping. She started out as a difficult baby and always slept better when she wasn't alone. That didn't mean I slept better and after 3 months, she had to cry herself to sleep rather than sleeping with me because she kicked all night. Around the time she turned three and I guess came out of the cage, she started having problems again. Even sleeping with her sister wasn't good enough. I finally found a Disney Princess half tent that made her want to stay in bed all night. That lasted a few months and then she got sick and all sorts of rule flew out of the window.
In the past week, she started school, stopped sharing a bedroom with her sister again and got sick. I am sure that it was the trifecta of bad sleeping, but I am not sure what to do about it. I do know that I can't stand that during the past three out of four nights, I have been jolted out of sleep by someone shaking my arm. Seriously, she puts her fingers on my forearm sticking out of the covers and rattles it back and forth. The first night I put her back to bed, the second night I let her sleep on the floor of our room. The third night I actually made a bed on the floor in preparation for her and she slept through the night. Last night she came in totally terrified. She said she had a horrible nightmare and kept glancing around the room.
I have a few ground rules. She cannot climb into bed with us. She was too germy the first couple of nights and I do not share space well, just ask TD. Plus, I don't want her to get comfortable in our room. She can sleep on the floor, but I prefer her to stick to her bed. I do want her coming in if she's that terrified, but c'mon! Several nights in a week?
She wants Buttercup to move back in with her, but Buttercup has to be up an hour before she does and several times she has slept in, which Fiona wouldn't if she had to share a room.
I feel conflicted sometimes. What if something were to happen to her and I spent the last times with her making her go to bed alone or going to school when she only felt OK. Then again, she could be perfectly fine for the rest of her life and I could create a monster.
Any suggestions? She has a couple of nightlights, we have tried door shut, door open, I regularly check the closet for bad guys for her. She sleeps right next door to her sister and Moe is down the hall. I am at a loss and I am starting to get really sleepy all of the time. And when I get sleepy, I get bitter. It's kind of like the Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like me when I am bitter.

Another Plug for the Y

What is it about the girls being in school that makes me so verbose? Maybe because my mind is allowed to wander free for most of the day without whiny interference? I do have to say that I am delighted every afternoon when they get home.
Anyway, last week was perfect. I had just gotten home from a great vacation, alone, with my family and the girls were in school. I was able to start digging the house out from under the summer mess. There was only one fly in my ointment, our local Y was closed for a week for its annual maintenance and the start of a 6 month renovation. I heard that our Y is the largest in Texas, which must be saying something and now they are going to make it bigger! Luckily, it will be open during the building.
I ended up driving down to TD's Y because one other Y was closed as well and another one was technically closer, but not after drive time. It was okay, but it made working out more of an endeavor that it normally is. But it is always worth it.
While in Medford, I was talking to my brother, who is now a physician's assistant, about my exercising. That and the fact that my parents are always giving me a hard time about my weight. I told him how important it was for my family for me to stay healthy and avoid major medical problems. Once again, the one kidney thing came up and I reminded him that diabetes and high blood pressure are the two quickest ways to destroy my only one. He told me not to let them bother me about it any more. It's not like I am at an unhealthy weight.
I also appreciate how TD supports me and doesn't think it's a waste of my time to spend an hour a day at the Y, instead of the other things I could be doing. He's the one who encouraged me in the beginning when I first started. I was bemoaning my after baby belly and he told me the only way it was going to go was to start running. Ugh! There was nothing I hated more than running. Once, in high school, they tried to recruit me for long distance running on the track team. I explained to them that the only way I got a good time was because I wanted it to be over.
But I worked my way up to running at a good clip and he was right. And I started actually enjoying it.
Exercise is something for you to do that is in the best interest of you and your family. Being in better shape will help you withstand things like the upcoming flu season and being able to take care of your family.
Oh! I highly recommend Oprah's book with her trainer Bob Greene. He explains the levels of exercise that helped me understand that I needed to be working harder. A walk around the block wasn't going to be effective enough when it came to getting rid of the fat. I used to be one of those girls who said she never sweated. It was just because I wasn't working hard enough. Now my body is so in tune that when I hop on a cardio machine I just start dripping. And I LOVE that!

What Are the Odds?

So, in the nearly 40 years that TD and I have been driving, neither one of us has had problems with cracking windshields. And can I just say, (seriously knocking on wood) I still haven't.
But it started last year around December, at least that's when I was made aware of it. TD said he had a crack in his windshield. He said he didn't notice it until Moe started driving his car, but let's just say he's not the most observant fellow. Then he just watched it work its way across the windshield. To be fair to him, we both had no idea that our car insurance would fix it for free if it was less than 6 inches across. So, we had his windshield replaced. #1.
Then, when we were in Oregon in February, we were driving on a highway behind a semi that flipped up a huge bolt and significantly cracked the windshield of the rental van we were driving. Due to the temperature disparity between inside and out, we both watched in horror as the crack quickly spread several feet across the bottom of the glass. Talk about wrecking part of your vacation. #2. Luckily we didn't have to pay to replace it due to some Texas law that doesn't hold you liable for the damage to someone else's property, ie the rental company.
Last week when TD and the girls came to get me from the airport, I was looking out my side of the windshield in the van and I noticed something glittery on the glass. There was a two inch crack in the windshield that had no specific area that had gotten hit. Once again because we had the air conditioning cranked and it was hot outside, the crack turned L shaped and went at least another 4 inches. #3. We had to pay for this one, apparently it was too large to repair.
On Saturday, I was at church helping out with an activity for girls and Moe called. She said Buttercup noticed a small chip in the windshield. I felt instantly sick to my stomach. Was she kidding? She came home and we put the car into the garage and didn't touch it until the windshield guy could come out and fix the crack. #4! Luckily, the crack only moved another quarter of an inch between the time it was spotted and the time the guy got to our house.
This has been ridiculous! I hope that whatever infraction TD and Moe have made against car karma has been taken care of and we can stay away from the auto glass shop for a while.
Quick question, Moe pays for her part of our car insurance and she drives our car for free. Since she was the one driving would it have been fair to make her pay for the windshield if we had had to replace it? I hate that money can come between friends and family, but I also can't subsidize everything and it is getting expensive. I also know it was an accident, but she was the one driving.

Increasing Levels of Scary

So, I blogged before about the people who ride motorcycles in Texas without their helmets and yesterday I reached new levels of scary.
I was driving along the feeder road on my way back from the Y near TD's work. (A post coming up on that). Feeder roads are three lanes wide that run parallel on each side of a freeway. They are great because you can move along at 50mph while still being able to access the businesses on the side of the road. So, speeding merrily along, I came up behind a motorcycle that had two people on it. I wonder at the sanity of this woman who hops on a motorcycle behind her significant other and chooses to follow his example of not wearing a helmet. So, she's not the one in control of the bike and she's not wearing a helmet. Way too scary for me. Then I watch as he lifts a hand off the handle to signal a lane change. So he's driving one handed while not wearing a helmet! I watch as they enter the toll road, which is a fast paced freeway.
Then they speed up to about 80 mph and pull ahead of me. I am not doing 80mph on the freeway, but I can still see them. That's when I see her survey the traffic and then signal herself for them to change lanes while the man driving doesn't look around at all.
I cannot stress enough how nervous is makes me to see people riding motorcycles, much less those who are riding without helmets and apparently, sometimes without hands. I think it's because of all of the lectures I got from my Dad growing up. My dad was always a body shop manager when I was younger and then he switched jobs to deal with insurance claims. We were pretty poor growing up and he would work the weekends as a tow truck driver. Every once in a while he would come home from helping, as he put it, scrape people off the road who were riding motorcycles. I also saw a motorcyclist misjudge the turn in front of my parents house and slide across the front of a VW bug and then skip on his tush a few yards more.
In this day and age when they have laws about little kids wearing helmets because of the proven ability of helmets to mitigate head injuries, why is it still okay for adults not to wear helmets while going much faster. My brother told me about the time they were living in Idaho and he saw a motorcyclist wearing his helmet, with a strap, around his neck in in preparation for crossing the border into Oregon. Seriously?
So I guess what I am trying to say, if you feel comfortable enough to ride a motorcycle, for Pete's sake, wear a helmet.

My, How Times Have Changed

This is my big brother and I about thirty years ago. Wow, now I feel old. This was a few knocked out teeth, a car incident (or two), a broken engagement with a guy who suddenly became my big brother's BFF , ago. Not bitter, well, not any more. It took a few years. We had such a tough relationship. We are 17 months apart and for the longest time we were the biggest competitors. In college we took a Sociology class together and got the exact same grade on each exam. We didn't miss the same questions, that certainly would've been questionable. I was able to accurately guess the gender and quantity of each of their family's pregnancies basing it solely on what would've been the most competitive. How impressive is that? But after my pregnancy with Fiona, which humbled more than I could ever have guessed, and an amazing opportunity to bond with his preemie, any remaining bad feelings completely evaporated.
This is us now!

And the big cheesy grin on my face isn't there just because someone pointed a camera in my direction. It's because I got to see my big brother again. I don't think I've seen him in a couple of years. And I have missed him. I even told him that.

We both came spouse less to the wedding and we spent most of the weekend together. When it came time to leave I cried....me, over him! That should impress those of you who remember the two of us back then. I had such a good time with him. I have a feeling our promised trip to visit him and his family is going to come sooner rather than later.

Back!

I am back from a long weekend marrying off my little brother Bubba. Between the time change and my family's love of staying up wayyyy too late, I am exhausted. I am so glad that school started while I was gone so that I could take a nap already this morning, before lunch even.
I thought I would post a picture of all nine of my parents' children together for the first time in about 8 years. I have so many pictures to go through before I can settle on a few more to show you. I will leave you, from left to right, with the number (position in the family) of each person.
1,3,Dad,7,8,5,9,2,Mom,4,6. I just can't come up with that many pseudonyms!

Fair Warning from Fiona

*** it reads Beware smells foul. She posted this on the Powder Room door shortly after exiting.

My Response?

What do you do

when you love your child, but she wakes you up before 7am on a Saturday morning because she was up thinking about her new adventure in a new school? Here, in our school district, after 4th grade, the kids head off to intermediate school after elementary school. They say it's also considered an elementary school, but there are lockers, separate wings for the two grades, no real recess and they switch teachers for different classes.
I took Buttercup and her friend to the school yesterday to get their schedules and locker assignments. We roamed the hallways to figure out where lockers and classrooms were. Then we spent some time trying to figure out how to work the lockers. The girls did, that is. They thought I was some sort of locker genius. I told the girls that I would take them back to the school on Monday and let them practice on the lockers again.
Then we came home and I got to listen to all of the friend calling that went on. The girls were trying to figure out if any of their friends were in their classes. Then they discussed where and when they would meet every single day. I explained to Buttercup that most of her close friends would be riding the same bus as she was and they could make plans every morning.
Ugh and now, she's up before dawn to stare at the map and figure more things out. This would be fine, but she let the cats in and then we get to hear the beep, beep, beep, from the alarm. Now all of my plans for the day are up in the air because I am too tired to contemplate a Pilates class this morning. I am glad that I am going to leave town next week. TD can deal with the escalating excitement for the start of school. I can only take so much sleep deprivation.

The CT Scan

So Princess Fiona had her regularly scheduled, year off treatment, CT scan yesterday. I elected to take Buttercup. It had been a while since she had gone with us and I wanted to make sure she remembered that our visits are not Fiona getting out school and having lunch with Mom fun times. This one worked out quite well to disabuse her of that notion.
We were up at 6:30am, Fiona's appointment wasn't until 8:30am, but sometimes traffic snarls so badly that you just need to go early enough to avoid it or give yourself extra time to get through it. We managed to avoid it, but we were a good 40 minutes early. I went upstairs to get Fiona's lab slips so that she could have her labs drawn in the CT area, versus getting poked twice. I don't think that turned out to be the best idea because the techs and nurses down there thought she had to pass her labs in order to get the contrast, which delayed us a bit. She got into the back area on time, but they took forever in placing the IV. Last time we had a CT, we numbed up both of her elbow insides, but they ended up poking her in the non numb hand area and told us that is what we should numb because the veins were bigger down there. Taking their advice, I numbed the back of both of her hands. They looked over her right hand for a bit and ended up putting the IV into the left hand. While we were waiting for her to drink the contrast and get the labs (that we didn't need beforehand) back, a different nurse came over and said the radiologist said that the left hand couldn't be used because her PICC line from 3 years ago had left a clot (that was no big deal) and he was worried that the contrast couldn't get past it and if they injected her and it didn't go past, she couldn't have her CT scan today because they can only give contrast once in a 24 hour period. Ugh, but it did make sense and they started looking at her right hand again. Thank heavens it was still numb.
But, they poked it twice, digging around both times (you should see the bruise on her hand) and they were right the first time, it wasn't good for the placement of the IV. Seriously? So then they started looking at her elbow, remember the elbow that wasn't good last time? Turns out to be good this time. Now Fiona realizes that they want to poke her in a place that isn't numb, this would be her fourth poke of the morning. And she starts crying. This poor baby, she is so polite and still when they access her, but sometimes it still gets to be too much. The nurses are horrified that they have to do this and her crying is just so sad. I asked Fiona if she wanted me to tell the nurses to get the radiologist down here so that I could kick him in the shins. I mean, come on, this is at least her 4th scan, in the past year, at this hospital, and not once has anyone ever mentioned that the left side wasn't good for contrast IVs.
All during this time Buttercup is wandering around because she doesn't want to watch and then coming over and asking if we're done yet. Part of me wanted to kick her in the shins too.
After 3 hours with the radiology department we were finally on our way. Did I mention that Fiona doesn't get to eat until she finishes the scans? She kept coughing on our way downstairs and scaring herself a bit that she was going to throw up. Luckily, before she had a total meltdown, I remembered that we bought her some apple juice earlier and that helped calm her down.
The end to this long day and story, is that Fiona is once again all clear. I say all clear because the doctor thoughtfully printed off a copy of the radiologist's report that carefully covered every area, so I could read for myself. AND! AND! We only have to go to the hospital every three months. It's been three years since we haven't been at a hospital at least once a month. The doctor called last night and the first words out of her mouth were, " It's nothing to worry about." Thank heavens she started with that. She was just looking at Fiona's protocol and said she needed an EKG and an ultrasound of her heart, but we wouldn't have to bother until her next appointment in November. She had one during the worst part of her treatment and everything was fine.
I just have to say, for her next CT scan? We are going to cover her entire right arm and hand with numbing cream....

I am the Best Mom Ever

This is one of those few days that I tell myself that. And I hold onto it for the days when I am trying really hard not to scream shut up at the top of my lungs and slam the door to my bedroom and lock it for hours. I got the girls up this morning, did some reading together and headed off to pick up friends. We went to a neighborhood pool where we splashed and had a good time with more friends. Then we came home, I let them play at the empty elementary school together (don't tell TD, not a big fan), but there were four of them and they promised to rein in Fiona. (Good luck with that, maybe the sheer numbers, versus age, would keep her under control). While they were gone, I made homemade pizza rolls, plus enough for a dinner this week. THEN, I let them help me make chocolate chip cookies. Usually I try and avoid that because it takes the fun out of something I like to do, but they all asked so nicely and seemed to really enjoy it, so another tally in my favor. Then I let them trash the Wii Room getting stuff together for a movie and right now they are playing hide and go seek.
I have to live for times like this because it usually seems that we are all going way too fast, trying to get too much stuff done and the girls just seem to get in the way. Most of the time I feel like if they would just hide out for a few hours and let me get all of my stuff done while not making any more messes of their own...plus let me read my book quietly... I know a lot of that sounds selfish, but sometimes I think moms veer a little too sharply to the martyrdom side and that's just not very pleasant for anyone involved. I know when I do, I never feel good about it. Funny, I don't think trying to feel self righteous and superior makes me feel good. Now, if I could just somehow balance the swimming, cookie baking and hide and seek playing with the big pile of ironing and dirty bathrooms.

Last Week

So I spent most of last week being sick to my stomach. It didn't stop me from doing my usual things, but it did slow me down a bit. I think it didn't help that I got overheated when the air conditioning went out on the house. Friday was the worst. TD stayed home for part of the morning because it started right when I woke up.
This feeling has been sucking the fun out of reading. I have a whole stack of books, but they seem too weighty to dive into. I don't want to actually think about what I am reading. I did go back and read two Harry Potter books which helped. The new movie was really good, but I always hate it when they mess with the story lines. I guess I need to find some really trashy chick lit and entertain myself.
I am looking forward to school being back in. The girls have been mostly fine, but I guess I really like the structure of my days. When the girls are home, I feel obligated to make them help me do the housework. I guess this is mainly due to their messiness and I want them to know how to clean a house. But good grief....they take twice as long and do less than half of the job. So, the house is constantly half cleaned. This doesn't help my nausea.
I think I am going to have to ask the doctor for new pills. I am supposed to adjust to the pills eventually, but this current prescription isn't totally taking away the pain, which is why I started them in the first place. Maybe, eventually, we will stumble across a good set of pills.

Preferential Treatment

When we were dealing with the air conditioning going out, it reminded me of last year when the same thing happened. We had a home warranty last time and I got quick service because we had a person with a serious illness on the premises. This time, I was thinking the same thing. It's been almost a year since Fiona took her pills and yet I still can't let go of the idea that I need to do whatever I have to do, to get whatever I need to make her life easy. I felt like calling and telling someone that she needed to get air conditioning again. Before, whenever she got hot, she would run a temperature. We had noticed this years before she got sick, I think she gets it from her dad, he has problems with the heat and gets raging headaches if he's not aware of how warm he is. When you run a temperature and are taking chemo or have a port-a-cath, you get a free hospital admission. So we were very concerned last year. This year, I wasn't as concerned, but I still had it nagging in the back of my mind.

I wonder when this is going to go away. When I won't look at her as a time bomb. I think this is another one of those things that people, who haven't dealt with it, don't understand. There are no guarantees, they no longer call them cured. The term is now long term survivor. There are some kids with blood cancers that recur after 5 years. 5 years is the baseline for long term survivors. Not only recurrence, but the chemo she took can have long term consequences. I took some of the same medicines and I now read that the average age for children, who took this medicine, to have cardiac side effects is 27. 27?! I am now 7 years past that. Now I am starting to feel like a time bomb. That's not true, I have felt that way for a while. You should've seen TD's face when the oncologist shared that tidbit about both Fiona and me. The really wild thing is that the effects are not mitigated by working out. But I look at it this way, all of the stuff I do to keep my heart healthy can't hurt. But, I can deal with me, I know what I can handle. It's the idea that this little fluffy haired mama's girl could have to deal with that stuff again is what gets me.

For now, the air conditioning is nice and cool and she has what she needs and I can't really ask for more.

Oh, her next CT scan is August 3rd.

The Joys of Homeownership

When you were a little kid, dreaming of being an adult and all of the freedom that comes with it, how come no one rudely interrupted and said, Yes freedom is all well and good, but what about the car repair bills, and the property taxes and the a/c bills. Last night, I noticed that the house wasn't cooling. We haven't totally reprogrammed the thermostat since we got back from vacation because the girls and I don't notice when it's warmer in the house and we turn it down when we leave the house as well. Anyway, I figured that I could just turn it up and everything would be fine. Well, it didn't seem to be getting any cooler...and it wasn't. Ugh! It's been really hot here lately. I am not really complaining, I only notice when I get into get into the car. But that's because we have air conditioning everywhere and the pool outside.
So, we called a few places, but some weren't open and one had their first available appointment Saturday afternoon. Not good! So we busted out the fans and I left TD alone in our room. We usually have the hottest room in the house and TD's big muscles generate a LOT of heat, so there was no way I was hanging out with him in a hot room. I got a little creative though, big box fan and plate full of ice cubes. That worked for two hours and then I woke up. So I grabbed one of the blue ice things for the cooler and that worked longer. I managed to sleep until 7am. We usually keep the house around 78 degrees and when we got it up, it was 85 in the house. UGH!
So, at 7am, I called a place this morning and she asked why we didn't call last night!! We were working our way down the BB Bureau's website. So she sent a guy over in less than an hour and in 20 minutes it had the problem fixed. Of course, it cost us $300. And the guy said he couldn't be sure, but in the next few years, we would probably have to replace the a/c unit, to the tune of $6,000.
I suppose it's another reason to be glad that we bought a single level house. I can't imagine paying $12k to replace both units. Still...good grief! I think we might have to put the girls to work. But I am very glad that it only cost $300 and that I found out now what it will cost to replace it. The a/c guy said he had a woman start bawling when he told her she needed to have hers replaced. Well, if you hand me a bill for $6000 and there's no car involved, I might start crying too. At least I know now and can start hoarding my change.

Another Random Thing

See, another thing happened yesterday, that seems too short to just post, but way interesting. I am reading Ice Bound by Dr. Jerri Nielsen. It's about the woman who discovered she had breast cancer while stuck in Antarctica. This was during the winter and it was too cold to get her out. She said the high octane jet fuel would turn to jelly during the winter. Weird. Anyway, I was reading it at the Y and some old guy sat down next to me and asked if she survives. Spoiler alert: I got the book because I heard she died of the disease recently. Anyway, it turns out, he spent 6 months there in the 60s while he was in the Navy. Small world, huh? Her account is fascinating. I am sure it's extra fascinating because of my aversion to all things cold and trying to contemplate how I would survive there and keep all of my appendages. I do highly recommend the book.

Just Things

I don't feel like I have had enough for a real post lately. My days are spent corralling the girls, trying not to gag them and throw them in a closet. I mean seriously, they have no reason to fight, ever. TD always says that they are spoiled, as to things of the world, and should have no problem entertaining themselves. I guess I feel guilty if we aren't doing something constructive together.

I think about things like, wanna know a great way to multi-task? I never have gross looking feet because,sometimes, before I go to the Y, I put on one of two things. If my feet just need a little softening, I put the peppermint lotion on. It makes my feet tingle, which helps when I am jogging on the treadmill.

If my feet feel rough, then I use the coconut version. I needed it after the Florida trip, between all of the barefoot things I did. But if you put it on before you work out, all of the sweat helps the lotion work overtime. Plus, I hate wearing socks to bed, so I never put it on at bedtime.

I was complaining before about how long summer seems, but it is already July. It might help that I had so many things to look forward to. Last month we were gone to Florida, this month TD and I have good tickets to Phantom of the Opera. I love watching that musical. This is the first time I will have seen it outside of San Francisco. Then in August, my baby brother is getting married and I get to fly, ALONE, to hang out with my family. TD gets some girl time and has to take them to the first day of school!

So, I am sure, sooner than I realize, the girls will be back in school and I will have my house to myself again. But for now, it's off for some morning swimming and then the weekly trip to Walmart. I could use some good hot weather meals, meatloaf and mashed potatoes doesn't sound that appealing when it's 103 outside.

No Good, Very Bad Day

That was yesterday. I went to the Y, in the morning, with the girls, to try a step class. I used to love it in Sherwood, had the best instructors, but here they have it at odd times or combine it with other stuff. I am just not diehard enough to combine a step class with another 20 minutes of abs and weightlifting. Of course, back in Sherwood, we had this teacher who would eat a pie or two, over the weekend, and then make us pay for it. I wish she would've warned me, I would've eaten my own pie. Anyway, this lady here was crazy as well, never take a class from someone who acts like the Energizer bunny. I left a bit early, collected the girls and went to start my van. The a/c was working great, except for the two driver's vents that were blowing hot air. You know for here in Texas, where we are having an awful heat wave and at 10 in the morning it was almost 90 degrees. I was already dripping and it just got worse. I drove home, trying to get some ideas out of my dad (our family car guy) about what it might be. Unfortunately the magic school bus has basically a fighter cockpit and Dad hasn't had as much experience with Hondas. I head into my room to call the local dealership and I hear a gigantic smash from the kitchen. Buttercup went to empty the dishwasher and dropped one of my glass measuring cups.
Last week, Fiona dropped one. Her reaction? Burst into tears and say, "I'm so sorry Mama." Buttercup's? To leap away from it and say, " I didn't do it." But I was in my room, Fiona was vacuuming her room and the cats were nowhere to be seen...maybe we have a ghost that just hates glass measuring cups.
I kept trying to get a hold of TD to figure out what we should do with the car and the man never answers any of his communications. We got him a cell phone after Fiona got diagnosed, but he never carries it. Moe wasn't even answering anything. I was getting so frustrated I had to call another sister and have her talk me down. Of course, her idea of tucking in to the pan of brownies on my countertop, while effective, was probably not the best. She did offer to send some plastic liquid measuring cups for Christmas. I called TD again and threatened to code red him using some superglue and his cell phone.
All of this wouldn't have been as bad if we hadn't dropped $700 on his car the day before. If he loved his car, it would be one thing, but I bought it last year, while he was driving a SportTrac that got about 12 miles to the gallon, during the $4 a gallon gas woes. It was exactly what he asked for, but somehow it's not exactly what he envisioned. So I take it as a personal affront because I drove all over the Houston area and managed to locate the one Honda Civic (that gets over 30mpg) in captivity. It had a few issues and I think we took it to the wrong place, talk about highway robbery.
So we get the van into the dealership and a shuttle ride home. Which left us with only the afore mentioned Civic and the 5 of us. That meant that we all had to get up with Moe and TD because they needed to leave for work at 7am and we needed the car because Fiona had her monthly trip to Texas Childrens' today. (Is it bad that I want to sneak over to the neonatal ICU and try to see the doctor from TLC's The Little Couple?) So I worked out at the Y near TD's work and hung out with the girls for 8 hours of near solid togetherness.
Can I just say how much I hate cars? I really shouldn't complain. I LOVE our minivan and we bought an extended warranty with it and the a/c problem was covered with no deductible. I am so grateful for that. I just didn't need to deal with all of that yesterday and today.