A few weeks ago I signed up for a bread making class through church. They had a lady come and teach us fabulous new ways of making bread...along with a side of scare tactics. Seriously. Our church has always preached setting aside a supply of food and other essentials in preparation for difficult times. But this lady was nuts! I had a friend tell me that she kept jolting awake later that night, terrified that she wasn't doing enough for her family. Don't get me wrong, she was a great teacher, but she lectured us on how all of the money we spend on getting our hair colored, nails painted, and fancy new tires for our SUV would be better spent on supplying on our personal grocery store in preparation for Armageddon. I am only exaggerating a smidgen. I feel a bit better as I type with my unpainted nails, my virgin hair in a ponytail and my mini van with plain tires outside.
As scary as she was, she was right. We do need to be more prepared, so I signed up for a provident living class run by one of my favorite church people, who was also scared. (sorry to sell you out Mary)
Our first meeting was last night and I dragged Moe along. I figure she is never too young to learn these things. She sat through the bread making class too, having a good time. I put together the beginnings of a 72 hour kit yesterday and we dragged that with us. It was a lot of fun and I learned quite a bit. I am excited to learn more about these things. In Oregon, our major threat was an earthquake, I think they are still overdue for the big one. The way they built that up, I don't think any sort of kit or preparation would help because it sounded like we would either be smashed to bits, or drown from the massive tsunami making its way up the Columbia, neither of which I could really wrap my brain around. Here, in hurricane and tornado land, these kits are much more of a necessity and I also can't wait to learn more about canning and preserving and actually finding ways to use the foods we will be stocking up on.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Farrah's Story
I watched Farrah's Story today while I was trying not to throw up. Thank heavens it didn't remind me of my chemo story, which was really nothing but a lot of throwing up. I even developed an ulcer. Did you know that throwing up dried blood looks like coffee grounds? Anyway, I watched this story through the lenses of both my and Fiona's experiences. Watching this story is akin to the memoirs I love to read. I want to see how people lived similar experiences differently. My story and Fiona's story are like night and day. Farrah's similar to both of ours.
I had a few questions while I was watching. First, and this is something I would've given part of another kidney to have had, Fiona got a port, a catheter that was placed in her chest. We could numb it and they would access it with a special needle. They never had to dig around looking for a vein. I got horribly dehydrated on a regular basis and they would stick me for hours looking for a good vein. They did this to Farrah as well. Why didn't she get a port? I wonder if it's more cancer specific. I was grateful for the NICU nurses that were experienced with tiny veins.
Another question, it was toward the end of her treatment that they talked about using drugs that would cause her to lose her hair. I thought that was where they started. Both Fiona and I were fairly quickly bald after starting treatment. Even now, I am not as attached to my hair as I am my life. Of course, I don't have world famous hair, but I think it's pretty fabulous.
Why are some families, and even part of those families are not blood related, more prone to cancer? Farrah's sister, her boyfriend, herself. I think I might have had a great grandma that had colon cancer, but I was pretty much the primary person in my family. TD's grandma died of colon cancer a few months before Fiona was diagnosed. Then I know people that have none of that in their family. I always wondered about where we used to live in Portland. On our street we had a colon cancer, a breast cancer and one other one beside Fiona. I had no idea until our neighbor noticed her little bald head. Were we living near a Love canal? I read up on benzene in Portland which is a known carcinogen. My dad always blamed my cancer on his exposure to chemicals in Vietnam.
My final thought, where is the cure? We have popular diseases that tons of celebrities raise funds for. I don't know that any of them have quite the rate of occurring as cancer does. Then again, when I was diagnosed, 24 years ago, it wasn't something everyone talked about. There was no Make A Wish, or ribbons, in fact people still referred to it in hushed whispers and said things like 'the big C'. I am grateful no one needs to feel ashamed any more. I just want more things done. It's quite the sobering trip every month to encounter all of the little kids up at Texas Childrens with bald heads. I think her film was a good thing for awareness.
I had a few questions while I was watching. First, and this is something I would've given part of another kidney to have had, Fiona got a port, a catheter that was placed in her chest. We could numb it and they would access it with a special needle. They never had to dig around looking for a vein. I got horribly dehydrated on a regular basis and they would stick me for hours looking for a good vein. They did this to Farrah as well. Why didn't she get a port? I wonder if it's more cancer specific. I was grateful for the NICU nurses that were experienced with tiny veins.
Another question, it was toward the end of her treatment that they talked about using drugs that would cause her to lose her hair. I thought that was where they started. Both Fiona and I were fairly quickly bald after starting treatment. Even now, I am not as attached to my hair as I am my life. Of course, I don't have world famous hair, but I think it's pretty fabulous.
Why are some families, and even part of those families are not blood related, more prone to cancer? Farrah's sister, her boyfriend, herself. I think I might have had a great grandma that had colon cancer, but I was pretty much the primary person in my family. TD's grandma died of colon cancer a few months before Fiona was diagnosed. Then I know people that have none of that in their family. I always wondered about where we used to live in Portland. On our street we had a colon cancer, a breast cancer and one other one beside Fiona. I had no idea until our neighbor noticed her little bald head. Were we living near a Love canal? I read up on benzene in Portland which is a known carcinogen. My dad always blamed my cancer on his exposure to chemicals in Vietnam.
My final thought, where is the cure? We have popular diseases that tons of celebrities raise funds for. I don't know that any of them have quite the rate of occurring as cancer does. Then again, when I was diagnosed, 24 years ago, it wasn't something everyone talked about. There was no Make A Wish, or ribbons, in fact people still referred to it in hushed whispers and said things like 'the big C'. I am grateful no one needs to feel ashamed any more. I just want more things done. It's quite the sobering trip every month to encounter all of the little kids up at Texas Childrens with bald heads. I think her film was a good thing for awareness.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Learned A Few Things
One, workout earlier in the day. If I workout before noon, I don't have as bad of an afternoon. If I start after noon, I spend time at the Y feeling carsick. I don't feel entirely pukey, but definitely nauseous and discombobulated.
Two, if I sit down in the middle of the day to check stuff out on my computer, this is usually what ends up happening.
This is Mr. Dukie. We rescued him last year right before the hurricane. We joke that his 'sister' (fellow adoptee, no biological relation) is cat-dog. I think Dukie must be too. If you sit down for any time at all, he has to come and plop down. It's difficult to type when your arm is going numb. It's nice to have the company when I don't feel good, but I have to not make the mistake of petting him because his purr box does not help. I think he's much too needy to be a cat. His sister is much more aloof, like a normal cat. I used to have a cat named Rascal, who would plop down on my textbooks when I was trying to study in college, but he wasn't being needy, he was just showing his superiority.
It's been 7 pills and every other day has been bad. The other days are okay. I haven't had any of the other symptoms, thank heavens, knock on wood, except for the nausea.
I have been checking out nice beaches in Florida to run off too. TD and I can spend Father's Day and my birthday soaking our toes and the rest of us. TD is a little more reluctant, based on my recent issues, but I am okay for a good portion of the day and I think some sun and surf and lack of chores wouldn't hurt either. Of course, we will take the girls with us. They are at an age where it's just as fun to take them along. I am still working up to leaving Fiona. Her recent escapades haven't helped.
Two, if I sit down in the middle of the day to check stuff out on my computer, this is usually what ends up happening.
This is Mr. Dukie. We rescued him last year right before the hurricane. We joke that his 'sister' (fellow adoptee, no biological relation) is cat-dog. I think Dukie must be too. If you sit down for any time at all, he has to come and plop down. It's difficult to type when your arm is going numb. It's nice to have the company when I don't feel good, but I have to not make the mistake of petting him because his purr box does not help. I think he's much too needy to be a cat. His sister is much more aloof, like a normal cat. I used to have a cat named Rascal, who would plop down on my textbooks when I was trying to study in college, but he wasn't being needy, he was just showing his superiority.It's been 7 pills and every other day has been bad. The other days are okay. I haven't had any of the other symptoms, thank heavens, knock on wood, except for the nausea.
I have been checking out nice beaches in Florida to run off too. TD and I can spend Father's Day and my birthday soaking our toes and the rest of us. TD is a little more reluctant, based on my recent issues, but I am okay for a good portion of the day and I think some sun and surf and lack of chores wouldn't hurt either. Of course, we will take the girls with us. They are at an age where it's just as fun to take them along. I am still working up to leaving Fiona. Her recent escapades haven't helped.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
It took Four Pills
I must be some sort of record holder. It has been four pills and I spent part of this afternoon dry heaving. It's amazing how many food commercials there are on TV. Seriously, like every other one! Food Network is definitely not an option. I can't even follow movies with any sort of plot lines. Scrubs seems to be working for me right now.
I cannot read while nauseous. Except maybe children's' books. When I was nauseous with one of the girls, I had a free Barnes and Noble copy of the first Harry Potter and I never read it until I felt better. What a waste! I could've enjoyed the first four Harry Potter books.
Anyway, I hope this goes away soon. I suppose your body is supposed to get used to the hormones. When I was pregnant with Fiona, I was nauseous a week after I missed my period and was throwing up 2 weeks later. I started feeling mildly better at 19 weeks. There were 6 weeks of not too bad feeling. From 28 weeks I started feeling sick again. I delivered her 2 days after my due date. So that's what? 28 weeks of a fairly constant stomach flu feeling. TD and I counted up all of the times I puked during the first (oh dear gracious, a Yogurt commercial, retch... not really, I just want to.) 10 years of our marriage, it would be like being bulimic after every meal for 2 years! That's right 2 YEARS!
EW! BBQ sauce. Make it stop. Maybe there is some 1 and a half star movie on the premium channels.
I cannot read while nauseous. Except maybe children's' books. When I was nauseous with one of the girls, I had a free Barnes and Noble copy of the first Harry Potter and I never read it until I felt better. What a waste! I could've enjoyed the first four Harry Potter books.
Anyway, I hope this goes away soon. I suppose your body is supposed to get used to the hormones. When I was pregnant with Fiona, I was nauseous a week after I missed my period and was throwing up 2 weeks later. I started feeling mildly better at 19 weeks. There were 6 weeks of not too bad feeling. From 28 weeks I started feeling sick again. I delivered her 2 days after my due date. So that's what? 28 weeks of a fairly constant stomach flu feeling. TD and I counted up all of the times I puked during the first (oh dear gracious, a Yogurt commercial, retch... not really, I just want to.) 10 years of our marriage, it would be like being bulimic after every meal for 2 years! That's right 2 YEARS!
EW! BBQ sauce. Make it stop. Maybe there is some 1 and a half star movie on the premium channels.
Friday, May 8, 2009
What the Doctor Decided
I went in there with my unsealed report and she took a quick look at it. She is not at all interested in doing surgery again, much less a hysterectomy. I think now that she knows what's going on in there, she is much less concerned than she was before. Then she wrote me a prescription for birth control pills, and I took it. I guess I recognize this is usually the first line of defense against endometriosis. She said that it would be at least two months before my body totally adjusted and I would most certainly be nauseous. Ugh. None of this made me happy. I think I would've been happier if she had insisted on starting them right after I had my last surgery. I don't know how effective it will be in getting rid of what's already in there.
I have never taken birth control pills and after I went through my pregnancies I was very grateful. Her saying I was going to be 'nauseous' makes me thinking of people saying they have 'morning sickness'. There's a reason we only have the two kids. Her idea of me being nauseous conjures up memories of a home health care nurse coming to hang my IV bags, followed shortly thereafter with admissions to the hospital and literally weeks without eating.
After hearing all of this I told TD that maybe we should've just had another kid. It does the same thing as many of the drugs they could give me and we would have a sweet little person at the end of it. Now I am nervous because school is over in a few short weeks, it's heating up outside and I might want to spend the next two months fighting the urge to vomit profusely. She also said she gave me a medium pill, she didn't even start me out on a mini-pill. If I can tolerate all of this, she might work it to where I don't have periods. That's something I can get on board with, as long as it doesn't come with all of the nasty side effects I have heard about birth control pills. I start them on Sunday. I guess we will just have to wait and see. Something tells me I should just get out the barf bowl, just in case.
I have never taken birth control pills and after I went through my pregnancies I was very grateful. Her saying I was going to be 'nauseous' makes me thinking of people saying they have 'morning sickness'. There's a reason we only have the two kids. Her idea of me being nauseous conjures up memories of a home health care nurse coming to hang my IV bags, followed shortly thereafter with admissions to the hospital and literally weeks without eating.
After hearing all of this I told TD that maybe we should've just had another kid. It does the same thing as many of the drugs they could give me and we would have a sweet little person at the end of it. Now I am nervous because school is over in a few short weeks, it's heating up outside and I might want to spend the next two months fighting the urge to vomit profusely. She also said she gave me a medium pill, she didn't even start me out on a mini-pill. If I can tolerate all of this, she might work it to where I don't have periods. That's something I can get on board with, as long as it doesn't come with all of the nasty side effects I have heard about birth control pills. I start them on Sunday. I guess we will just have to wait and see. Something tells me I should just get out the barf bowl, just in case.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
I am a Good Patient
But when I get a chance to look at things, I can't help myself. I did get a fairly quick appointment to the OB/GYN on Wednesday and I had to go to my primary care physician because, thanks to HIPAA, they can no longer just fax results over, you either have to sign something or pick it up and transport it yourself. If I have to sign something, I might as well pick it up myself so that I know it's there when I get there.
They were kind enough to leave the envelope unsealed and of course I had to peek. I also made a copy for my own records because it's handy to have that sort of thing. And this is what I found, two sizable fibroids, one to the side and one in back. One of them is about 2x2x11!! cm. I have another cyst on the right side and on the left, I have two, one is the size of the one I had to have removed. And then of course, some fluid floating around.
I joked with TD that the reason I was so miserably pregnant is that while I have a type B personality, my uterus is clearly type A and determined to get the job done. Apparently, it is still type A. As for the rest of it, I just don't know what to say.
And this is why I eat all of those salads and spend time at the Y. I can't imagine what would be happening if I hadn't made a determination to be healthier.
Oh and I found a website that said an 11cm fibroid basically mimics a 13 week pregnancy in size, plus you have to add all of the rest of that stuff in. Does this mean I can send TD out for 'cravings'?
They were kind enough to leave the envelope unsealed and of course I had to peek. I also made a copy for my own records because it's handy to have that sort of thing. And this is what I found, two sizable fibroids, one to the side and one in back. One of them is about 2x2x11!! cm. I have another cyst on the right side and on the left, I have two, one is the size of the one I had to have removed. And then of course, some fluid floating around.
I joked with TD that the reason I was so miserably pregnant is that while I have a type B personality, my uterus is clearly type A and determined to get the job done. Apparently, it is still type A. As for the rest of it, I just don't know what to say.
And this is why I eat all of those salads and spend time at the Y. I can't imagine what would be happening if I hadn't made a determination to be healthier.
Oh and I found a website that said an 11cm fibroid basically mimics a 13 week pregnancy in size, plus you have to add all of the rest of that stuff in. Does this mean I can send TD out for 'cravings'?
Friday, May 1, 2009
Why does this Keep Happening
Or Am I Really Attached to All of My Organs? So I got my ultrasound on Thursday. I need to start doing these things earlier in the week. It seems that bad stuff always happens on the weekend and you can't take care of it. The doctor's office called this afternoon and said that I needed to contact my OB/GYN as soon as possible and if I couldn't get in right away, they were going to refer me to someone in their clinic. So I call my doc and her office is closed for the day. I call the nurse back and she said that this wasn't her specialty so she was going to refer my records to someone in the clinic and get back to me. What it boils down to is that I have cysts popping, which has lead to 'fluid' in my pelvis and I also have a uterine fibroid. Oh good grief. I mean, it's always helpful to know that my pain isn't just in my head. I had to explain to Moe why they call it a 'hyster'ectomy. You know, because women are hysterical. Anyway, I wasn't able to get hold of anyone right away, but it would seem to be okay. Once again, it's just if the pain becomes unbearable I should go to the ER. I think I might be more likely to heed their advice this time since there is some serious ongoing stuff right now.
I am going to call the OB/GYN on Monday and get in there right away.
On a few other medical notes, Fiona's monthly appointment went swimmingly, until I had to tell the doctor that she had an ER trip and a bout of Fifth's disease in the short month since we saw her last. Her scar is getting smaller quickly, which is great, considering how large it started out being.
There no reported cases of the swine flu in our school district, but it is slowly creeping through the area and I am just dreading a few weeks home with the girls while being cautioned not to get together with friends. I am just not sure what the hysteria is about and we are so close to the end of the school year. I don't want make up days or an extra long summer break.
I am going to call the OB/GYN on Monday and get in there right away.
On a few other medical notes, Fiona's monthly appointment went swimmingly, until I had to tell the doctor that she had an ER trip and a bout of Fifth's disease in the short month since we saw her last. Her scar is getting smaller quickly, which is great, considering how large it started out being.
There no reported cases of the swine flu in our school district, but it is slowly creeping through the area and I am just dreading a few weeks home with the girls while being cautioned not to get together with friends. I am just not sure what the hysteria is about and we are so close to the end of the school year. I don't want make up days or an extra long summer break.
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