Today we were at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. We were walking up some wooden stairs to a ride, when I noticed someone on the step next to me. I said excuse me to this girl, about 10 and kept walking. A few seconds later, she was past me on the stairs and I called to her and said excuse me, you can't cut in front of us. She was between me and my sister and Fiona. She said, well I had to go to the bathroom and my friend is up in line. I said, I am sorry you had to go, but you can't cut in front of us. She moved back behind me and we stopped a few minutes later, closer to the front of the line. Shortly after, I heard a commotion behind me and a lady walks up to us and starts yelling at me. How dare you pick on a little kid? She's ten years old and she wanted to go on the ride. She came down in tears because you wouldn't let her catch up to her friend and you yelled at her. How can a 30 year old person pick on a 10 year old? I told, I just wouldn't let her in front of us. The lady was shaking, she was so mad and so hubby stepped between us and said, are we really going to argue about this? We just let the girl go ahead and the lady turned around and stomped back down all of the stairs.
This scared Buttercup and it really irritated me. I have the bad habit of being a sort of black and white person, right/wrong. Don't jump lines, etc. Had one of my girls come back down with the same story, I would have told her that she should wait for her friend to come down the ride and then ride again with her. Also, that they can take away your wristband if you get caught line jumping, which is what this girl was doing.
She looked well put together, but Dave said she clearly had problems.
My point is, at what point do you stand up for stuff and at what point do you shut up and hope that crazy people aren't going to be upset by what you do? I want to set a good example for the girls and teach them what's wrong and right and how to properly behave out in society. I worry about this sense of entitlement and people solely focusing on themselves to the detriment and destruction of others. Do you speak up for yourself and not let people walk all over you or do you stand, silently by because you don't know if someone is unstable and they might be the person you end up tangling with?
I am glad Hubby was there, because this lady was all unglued. Her daughter also lied to her. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't yell at my own kids, so I am surely not going to yell at your kids. I did take this point to talk to Buttercup about it and show her how poorly the lady behaved and how her child wasn't truthful with her and it made her mom look foolish.
It kind of ruined part of the day and I had a hard time letting go of this. I thought the girl was clearly in the wrong and her mom was just encouraging future bad behavior by being so vicious in her defense of her child. I understand the mother lion feelings, but you also have to properly teach your child.
Phew, I think this was one of those things I was thinking about and just couldn't stop. It was really irritating and I wanted to reason with this lady and point out how her child was in the wrong wanting her place saved because she had to go to the bathroom...that's not how lines work and this one was short enough, her friend was probably already down at the bottom, but she wouldn't have listened.
Ah well, thoughts?
2 comments:
First, what a shame that something like this cast a shadow over your fun times!
Second, I admire that you were able to turn an upsetting event into a teaching moment. It would be easy to just complain about these rude people and how they were not being fair. Instead you let it open a productive dialogue with your kids. Congrats on making the best of a bad situation.
Finally, why can't people just play by the rules? The rules generally ensure that everyone has a good time. (Clearly I'm also a black & white rules girl.)
I'm not so black and white and probably (depending on the situation) would have just let the girl go ahead. But the way her mom acted as absurd! And I really admire the way you turned it into a teaching moment. As I've been thrust into motherhood this summer, I've been trying hard to turn everyday things into lessons the kids can understand.
I've also been trying to teach better manners. And today had a good moment with Grace (the youngest). She came to me and said "I'm hungry." She says this often, whether she's hungry or not. I said, "Well what could we do about that?" She thought a moment and said, "Can I have some applesauce please?" Much better! I'm trying to teach them instead of just stating needs or demanding things, they should ask nicely for something specific.
Wow, this is long, so I'll stop there. But thanks for stopping by my blog and the words of encouragement!
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