Oh My Back

I heard that in my head in the voice of some crabby old guy. In reality it has more to do with the gas. When they invented the modern miracle that is laparoscopy, they figure it should involve gas, in order to separate the gooeyness that is your abdomen. Hey, I am all for no more cuts in my abdomen. I have never been able to come close to a real six pack because I have a large slash mark across the left side of my stomach right under my ribs. But in their incessant need to see more and more of my guts, they kept pumping more and more gas in. Apparently I am not very good at getting rid of it. Things like Gas-X and such pills have no effect. You just sort of have to wait for it to dissipate through your skin and it rises, much like the carbonation in your favorite soda, something I am also forbidden to have.
My main pain has been in my neck and upper back. It's like someone came up behind with very large, strong hands and simultaneously pushed down and gripped really hard. If I lay down, it feels better, but then I can't really see the TV or read a book well. It also makes me not hungry, maybe because my stomach already feels full.
My stitches are starting to itch and hurt a bit. I wandered around today. I am not sure exactly what I am going to attempt tomorrow. I told Moe if TD hid my car keys she should see where he hid them and call me later. I promised not to rat her out.