We were at church on Sunday and Buttercup had brought her journal to write in during Sacrament Meeting. Fiona said something about Buttercup kissing a boy. She hasn't, thank heavens, but apparently she had a boyfriend, but he broke up with her. I came across a little note she had written to herself, reminding herself to wear her coolest clothes in order to catch his attention. Sigh...I cannot believe she is already obsessed with boys. I haven't really talked to her much about that sort of things. She isn't allowed to wear make up until she is 12, or date until she is 16. We talk about things relating to sex as they come up, but it doesn't come up too much.
I am not sure the best way to continually discuss these things with her. My sister and brother in law aren't the best examples and she laps up everything she sees when she's with them. Ever since we met him, about 3 years ago, they are the king and queen of PDA. The first time they were staying with us, I told them we weren't comfortable with their excessive displays. I was really nice about it and just talked to my sister, by ourselves, so no one was too embarrassed. She made some comment about how they are just affectionate people and we sort of left it at that. But now they have moved up here and we see them a lot. My sister also took Buttercup out when Fiona was first in the hospital and bought Buttercup some flip-flops with heels on them and got her a manicure. Neither something I would do, but I figured that she needed some special things too. She got the flip-flops out recently and tried them on. Her thoughts? She didn't want to wear them without a proper manicure.
She's 8!!
I am not too much of a girly girl. The photo of me in a previous post? It took me about 10 minutes to get ready, dressed, made up and hair done. I don't get regular manicures or have hair appointments (that's just me, not commenting on anything else someone might like to do). I wonder about what she hears at school. I can't control what she hears there, how do I counteract it?
How do I help her be less obsessed with her appearance and what boys think. She talks about how she is popular and this seems to be important to her. I was never popular and most of the time, I didn't care. Any ideas would be really appreciated. I hate how children are becoming sexualized at earlier ages. Hubby's Aunt said something about his baby cousin flirting with women...he was 9 months old.
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4 comments:
I wish I could be of some help but alas, I'm too old to remember much about the torturous teenage years. I do remember being obsessed with boys and popularity. So I guess the good news is we have all gone through puberty and managed to come out the other side okay. Just the fact that you are aware of her emotions and thoughts shows what a close relationship you have. I think that will really be the key to helping her navigate adolescence.
I remember being obsessed with boys from about 4th grade on, and I turned out pretty ok -- I wouldn't be overly worried. If you harp on it with her, it will surely backfire. That said, I wish I could tell my 12-19 year-old self not to care so much about boys. I feel like I wasted some of my best years on them!
I guess my main concern is that she's only 8. She's in 2nd grade. It just all seems so young. I do want her not to waste her time worrying about things that are really years off. Hubby said we really need to distract this summer and not let her watch too many shows that focus on this sort of thing. I have to agree with that.
I am going to try and not harp on it, just wait for things to come up that we can talk about.
I remember not even noticing boys, cute or whatever, until at least 5th grade. She's been interested in boys since kindergarten.
It's tough to compare because things were different when we were kids. Just think about it. Sitcoms and cartoons were the primary source of entertainment. (I wasn't allowed to watch "Three's Company" because it was too riskay.) We had 4 tv stations. No computer. No internet. Bare midriffs weren't even a distant thought for the most rebellious of girls. Kids are just growing up faster these days.
I think you're hubby is right. I was too busy to get into trouble when I was a kid!
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