The Fun in My Morning

Remember when I blogged about my female problems? Shortly after, the doctor found a golf ball sized bleeding ovarian cyst, on my left side, which would account for some of the problems that were annoying me. I had another 'episode' on Tuesday, luckily I had a Dr's appointment that same day. I had to call TD to come home and take me there. Buttercup was home with a 'fever of unknown origin' (that does sound cooler than running a temperature, right? Buttercup thought so).
Anyway, Moe was home and could take care of her.
I went to the doctor and she said, it could either be my appendix or another ovarian cyst and recommended that I get a CT scan to rule these things out. I was able to get a one on Thursday and on my way out, I was given two of these lovely things. Two of the big ones.

Here is where I give you permission to laugh along with me and pretty much everyone in my family. It's okay. I have long accepted that my main problems in life are health related, starting when I was very young.

So, my morning started without breakfast. I am not one of those people who 'forget to eat'. Never happens. I live to eat. Then, since it didn't get it's usual high fiber diet, my stomach was already revolting. I opened the jar? of liquid and a very fragrant berry smell wafted out. Shudder. The girls were standing in front of me and watching apprehensively. I took a breath, let it out and started chugging. Maybe this would've been easier if I had ever played any sort of drinking games in college. The only thing I chug regularly is water. I got about one quarter down and put the jar back on the table. It tastes like berry flavored Mylanta. I hate Mylanta! And you have to drink the whole bottle.

Fiona looked me over and said, "I am going to get you the barf bowl." Thanks for that vote of confidence. I chugged another quarter. Oh gosh, my stomach has started revolting. Do I really have to get all of this down? I get another quarter down and start seriously contemplating Fiona's barf bowl. I get another eighth down and that's it. I can't get that last eighth down. Here I figure it's better than puking ALL of it back up. I get the girls off to school and it's almost 8:30am. I am supposed to start the next jar then. But I have to get out of the car first, there is no way I can drive and chug that stuff. I sit down at the registration desk and the woman starts filling out my paperwork. I open the jar. I start chugging again. The poor receptionist can smell it and watches me. I tell her how awful it is. She picks up her McDonalds apple pie and sniffs the box because she's starting to get nauseous from the smell. I finish the same amount as before and she kindly offers to throw away the jar. She takes me back to the Radiology waiting room and then I get called up to their reception and she offers me another large mug full of something. I start backing away, "Um, I've already taken something." Thank heavens, she didn't know I had already had it. I didn't have to drink anything else. I get scanned and out of there. On the way out, the tech said that I should drink a lot of water today because barium tends to bind up your guts. Swell... just what I need. I get home, eat and start feeling odd. About 10 minutes later when I google the stuff, I found out patients are talking about the laxative effect it has on them. She could've told me that instead.