HMOS, Referrals and General Irritation

I never could understand why people bagged on HMOs and managed care in general. We have been in one since we got married and have had a LOT of medical problems. I remember one time when a friend told me that she was worried about going into labor because they paid a percentage of their hospital bills and she would have to pay an extra $600 for an epidural and $2,000 for a c-section. I would have a hard time paying for the epidural and terrified of a c-section...she did end up having a c-section. Ugh! We paid $310 for Buttercup. It started out with only 16 visits normal coverage, but I ended up having over 27 doctor's visits and two unscheduled hospital stays, as well as numerous home health care nurse visits. Once we got out of Fiona's more awful times in chemo, we only pay $30 a month for the doctor and about $25 a month for the 5 prescriptions we normally get. That's not too bad.
Anyway, after school got out this year, Buttercup told me she thought she needed glasses. I told her I would add it to my list of appointments this summer (establishing with a dentist down here, similar to my fear of snakes, the dentist, not establishing with one). I started with the easy one and talked to the same eye doctor I saw earlier this year. The receptionist asked if we had a PPO or an HMO, I said HMO, really we have an EPO and I am not sure entirely what the difference is. We don't need a referral for the eye doctor's appointment they allow every 24 months, but the receptionist said we needed one. I ended up needing one earlier this year when they added some sort of special test to my visit. So, I called the girl's doctor and asked for one. They started the process and then called back and asked that Buttercup be seen before she gives the referral, as she had only seen her before for a flu shot. Her appointment is next Friday. Fiona has her day long appointment tomorrow and will most likely not feel her best for the next week. I can't go to the Y with Moe and so we have to take turns watching the girls while the other one works out. She works by 4 every day and wants to be home from the Y by 3 in order to be able to shower, etc. So, we have the appointment next Friday, which takes up one day and now I had to add another... on top of whatever Fiona throws at me. They said we could make it for just a "look-see" but I told them if we are coming down and spending the time and money, etc, I want the full physical. Who knows what excuse they would make to need to see her for a physical if we just went in for a look-see this time.
So, I guess just the entire process makes me want to kick something...not a good thing for my testy feet. I am truly grateful for the health insurance we have had the entire time we have been married. I am so glad paying for Fiona's treatment wasn't something we had to worry about when she was diagnosed. I just wish there were a few less hoops we had to jump through in order to maintain their checklists. Phew, I think I feel a little bit better now.